if i was sammy sosa i would say to myself,

why the fuck am i playing baseball right now?

arent i supposed to be suspended?

didnt i get totally lucky that all eyes were on me and wrigley and my bats this weekend, and i survived it and my damn team even went two outta three with the bronx bombers, why am i in baltimore?

if i was sammy sosa i would tell the commish, please lets just do this right now.

nobody has any class any more. thats the problem,


these two guys were obviously cheating, i should say, are still cheating in one of my fantasy baseball leagues.

you know what you get when you win a yahoo fantasy baseball league?

the screen says congratulations to your team name.

so why would you cheat?

anyway, i delivered a few choice lines on the message board because actually playing in the league isnt nerdy enough, i actually am active in this league.

and i told them how they were cheating and how their trades were horrible and then i signed it, nice work, sosas.

im not taking all of this very well.

i wish sammy had just said it was planted.

or he never did it in the first place.

i also wish my tivo knew how to understand the mlb package on directv.

i also wish that the new tsar record would hurry up and come out.

i also wish the hottest girl at work hadnt been so cute today.

if there were three books that i could recommend sammy read this summer

the first would be vurt by jeff noon, psychedelic sci fi from the uk.

then i would say cruddy by lynda barry, funny sad wonderful

then i would say read genesis

then i would say read ten bukowski poems for good luck.

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