Monthly Archives: February 2004

black history month

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: Black Sabbath

i took jeanine to see Ozzy’s farewell tour in 1991 at irvine meadows. rob halfords band Fight opened, then Ozzy played, and then a reunited Sabbath came out with halford singing for them, and then Ozzy sang some old chestnuts with his old band and brought out his little kids and he said “this is why im quitting all this shit. for these kids, man!”

then he hugged his kids and then tony iommi plugged his sg back into the marshall stacks and the kids ran off stage and carmen appiece from ozzys band pounded out a drum beat and ozzy started clapping all hunched over like he does and they broke into something from sabbath bloody sabbath and this little 13 year old kid sitting next to me spilled his super big gulp and didnt even notice.

black sabbath were the kings of grunge 20 years before it even had a name. some would say they were the godfathers of metal but metal never had the warmth of a warpigs and i hate to say it but iommi never had the speed that one looks for when you think metal. sure they inspired all those bands but so did miniskirts.

sad thing about ozzys new fame is the kids today might think that hes always been this bumbling old man with a crazy wife and fucked up kids. truth of the matter is ozzy is not only one of the most important singers in rock music but one of the top ten important frontmen of all time. maybe top 5. jagger, bon scott, bono, morrison, ozzy. yep, that covers it.

i like sabbath because they werent afraid of long droning epic spinal tappy adventures through the darkness.

i like sabbath because when they didnt want ozzy to sing with them (huge mistake) they got ronnie james dio to sing with them (perfect choice.)

i like sabbath because they love wearing crucifixes, long, hair, and moustashes.

i like sabbath because they still kick the shit out of all the pansy asses who pretend that what theyre doing is rock.

i like sabbath because they remind us that the beatles made ditties to hum to your children but that rock is bigger and deffer than all of that.

and lastly i like sabbath because they were the perfect combo of substance over style, spirit over image, soul over marketing.

happy black history month.

gods lonely man + black history month sports timeline + the mighty doc searls

this is me

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pry it from the fingers

i hate life. i hate everything. hi.

a hot chick is gonna take me to do laundry with her, so thats cool. but if the earth opened up here in hollywood and sucked this godforsaken building down i would only be sorry for the people who discover chopper one because once they put it back together it will be a shock to them that mankind could create a machine so good while turning their backs on other machinery that could do things like, oh, say, feed starving people or find water in desert areas.

which they could, of course. if there was a way to make money off the poor.

instead they built this beast to keep the madding crowds in line and to steal from the rich and spy on the thieves.

the clouds are beautiful today. the sun in shining. the air is crisp. the girls are wearing cute little scarves and ugg boots. their flowers are wilting in their button holes their dreams havent been crushed yet like mine have, their boyfriends havent been found out yet and their daddys still pay for their miatas.

but one day they will look in the mirror and see what i just saw: the cold hard truth.

bitter bubbles the babbling brook of broken backs on which this “fair” city was born.

and fie on the fucks who stir its broth for the unsuspecting.

man walked into a bar last night as i was paying my tab and asked me if i had a few minutes to listen to his pitch and i said i have all the time in the world as long as he was talking about jesus

he said he had something better to talk about than the lord

i said youve got something better than everlasting life

he said you really want this to last forever

so i sat down and got the tab open again.

turned out he just wanted to have someone to talk to until the rain ended.

i made him pay for my baileys and i told the fuck to get a blog next time.

sk smith + i heart amy + rabbit

attentions ladies of Tampa, Florida!

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Because you are a reader of the busblog, you are exclusively invited to witness the debut of the new fashion line by Jones New York at the Jones New York Signature launch fashion show-cocktail party-awards ceremony-shopping spree

this Thursday, February 5th.

Time: 6-8 pm

Date: February 5, 2004

Location: West Shore Plaza

Burdine’s- 2nd Floor

298 West Shore Plaza

Tampa, FL 33511

To help you enjoy your shopping spree, you and all of your guests will receive Jones New York Signature gift cards at the event.

Please RSVP either directly to signature@look-look.com or via phone (800-856-5601) with

your full name and the full name of each of your guests.

We hope to see you there!

If you don’t live in the Tampa Bay area but know someone who does, please let them know about this event!

whats wrong with this fucking picture?

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other than it makes me want to puke.

the chicago cubs are owned by the tribune corp. tribune corp also owns over a dozen newspapers (including the chicago tribune, newsday, and la times) and two dozen tv stations.

the cubs were one pudge rodriguez away from winning the world series last year and this winter 32 yr old pudge was up for grabs to the highest bidder and guess what tribune corp said

nah, too expensive.

pudge was the world series mvp maybe the playoff mvp and definitely the biggest reason that the fish won the series last year and all he wanted was $10 million a year for 4 years and the trib only offered a 3 year contract.

tightwad asswad trib corp’s earnings jumped 75% last quarter. their revenues rose 3% to $1.47 billion. of all their assets the Cubs are the most beloved and worthy of a slight injection of funds.

yet they pass on giving the latin backstop the market rate.

fuck tribune corp.

i hope they get papercuts counting all the damn money they saved.

dont they think an allstar catcher like pudge could work wonders for young pitchers like carlos zambrano, mark prior, and kerry wood, the heart of the cubs success last year?

no they dont think that cuz they dont give a shit about the cubs. they only care that the cubs deliver profit year after year. if theyre winning or not.

tribune corp looks at that picture to the right inbetween spritzes with a huge cigar in their fat mouths, towel boys bringing them french water and they think, yeah, we just saved $40 million.

but they didnt save any $40 million.

theres 3-4 catchers in the pros who mean anything and two of them are over 30. hell, all of them might be over 30, and one of em just won the damn world series and today he’s wearing a hat for a bunch of losers.

but the biggest losers are the cub fans.

cuz life isnt fair.

and the rich only get richer.

and when they die

they will burn the brightest

and i cannot wait for that day.

cuz they wont go to heaven hoarding their wealth and not spreading the love to the cubs.

and if they do get to heaven

and if im there too

theres gonna be an eternal ass kicking delivered by yours truly

every night

right after hendrix plays.

insults unpunished + tracy should write for lick + and definitely splinky

im making a cure mix cd for someone who has never really listened to the cure

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robert smith how do you do something like that? not try to figure out what to put on there, thats easy, anything. but how do you go through life for thirty years and not really ever have the need to throw on a cure record.

the first cure song i ever heard was lets go to bed which made me want to play the bass. robert smiths voice interested me however because where i grew up you didnt really try to pull a queer eye for the straight guy act unless — well you just didnt do it.

and even though he was singing about a girl he sang it like he does. and femme in chicago at the time wasnt all that cool. neither were the synths or hand claps. but oddly enough it was queens another one bites the dust that allowed for the cure to be accepted. that tune was a huge number one hit and it had a similar bass dominance and femmie singer.

still, the song ruled and everyone looked the other way.

i know i know, weird, but thats how times were back then. you had to worry about everything. i think thats one of the reasons billy corgan is all messed up. why didnt he just put out more zwan records. whats the difference? the bass player wasnt hot enough? she was amazing.

by now he woulda come out with 4-5 pumpkins records and at least two of em woulda been mindblowing.

next up is fascination street. bass pushed back a little. this single first came out on a soundtrack. i cant remember which. i was working at the college radio station at the time. but it was the practice station. it was AM only. and only if you lived on campus. then it went cable, which meant you had to plug the cable into your ass and have someone put a fork in your mouth.

i played that song and a dinosaur jr song and i said anyone listening to this show certainly doesnt deserve this music and truly needs to reevaluate why you have a coax cable up your ass so you can listen to cable college radio when youre about two feet from the pacific ocean and about 5 feet from the most gorgeous coeds this side of maui. this is the new one from the cure on 88.9 FM the juice, uc santa barbara’s kjuc.

the debate about which version of close to me is one id rather not enter. purists are rarely pure. and who wants someone pure making your mixed cds? if i made porns i would use this song. if i made porns i wouldnt ask for rights. rights fuck shit up. is the cure really gonna license close to me to a xxx porno about a lonely bullfighter who only became a bullfighter because he believed you couldnt beat the uniform. he liked bulls too much to fight em and he liked the clothes too much to be a bus driver. everyone told him that you can be a hot lookin bus driver but he insisted that the bus company had their own uniform and nowhere did it include a cape.

six different ways makes you believe that anythings possible in life. fuckers carefree as a little girl on a mountain of pink cotton candy heading over to the blue hill over yonder. if i was in a punk band id speed through this one in about twenty seconds as an encore and rip the bra cup from the bass player and reveal his sunshiney nipple ring.

at some point the dance partys gotta start so its why cant i be you. best use of horns since tsars startime and before that the doors touch me. the doors were on elektra like the cure and i suppose that means the next song should be the cure covering the doors on that elektra records anniversary cd rubyiat where they did a pretty damn good version of hello, i love you.

but no. next comes lovecats. if i had a gay porn id put this in there but im not into gay porn. this is another in the long line of perfect walks around the bass. its pretty much an education. its a sideshow on its own. it wouldnt take over the whole song if it wasnt for those weird bottles and other assorted bizzaro sounds going on.

love song is next. dance partys over. if i pitched baseballs at night against a barn in ohio id want this on the boombox on the tractor seat as the sun set and the gnats swarmed and the corn stalks bent away from the wind. it rained tonight in hell-ay. if i was driving listening to juice newton id dig around the 8 track bag for something that had this song on it. if i died and became a fisher price xylophone playing ghost id haunt your funky ass with this one.

when people talk about 80s music they seriously need to include jumping someone elses train. modern english drumbeats, little splash cymbals, uh-GAIN and uh-GAIN and uh-GAIN and uh-GAIN and somehow these lyrics were deep in the 80s, maybe it was just the fade out.

shit, im depressed now.

memories suck.

lick got 2,000 hits today.

it was a fluke.

im listening to the darkness now. fuck the cure.

three lick girls:

sage + ashly brooke + tina

hi people from the internet searching for

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“janet jackson superbowl pictures”.

my name is tony.

i have so many nude janet jackson superbowl pictures.

but i really dont know how i ended up being #5 in the search results of “janet jackson superbowl pictures“.

i also have the superbowl streaker guy though (pictured).

oh wait. i do have janet superbowl pictures.

how did that happen.

hey people of the Internet, look, i have them i have them!

doesnt the whole internet have them by now?

they should.

and weren’t you all watching the game and the halftime?

wasnt it one of the most watched superbowls of all time?

and arent the superbowls the most watched tv programmes of the year?

i dont understand.

lord knows i want to understand, but i dont.

life confuses me.

feel free to explain it to me beyond that 42 business cuz i never got that either

click the janet pics if you want something totally better than this page, written by women anonymously and designed by a hot babe herself.

much love.

tp

the g mask has it all + chokey chicken wrote justin + sara k smith lives in texas and needs to write for lick

why didnt anyone tell me

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that the lingerie bowl was live, here in LA at the colleseium? one rapid bus gets me to the damn colleseium!

didnt matter. i had a small get together over at the pad. at first i totally wanted to have a party, then i totally didnt. then when people showed up i was happy again.

all weekend i had procrastinated on Lick and it wasnt even like i had to do that much this weekend. Raspil had done all of the hard stuff and mr. jason sutter fixed a baffling problem that was impossible for ms iverson and i but probably a peice of cake for jason who built this city on rock n roll.

all i had to do was arrange it, fix the links, and move it over from the bluecad site to the lickmag site and do a photo essay introduction.

and just like any college paper or project, i waited until the very last minute to do anything.

i even waited late to ask Raspil for help and thank God Almighty that she not only said yes, but did it quickly and gorgeously.

lick launched with a few minutes to go in the second quarter. i wanted to have time to see how much the lingerie bowl cost, so i paused the super bowl, switched tuners and went over to channel 102 and saw that it was only $20 so we watched that during half time switiching over to the mtv lap dance which the children at the party truly loved.

the nine year old said “it must be hard to yearn for attention in the jackson family” and then ate more of jeanines cake.

jeanine, who hates sports, baked a chocolate cake for the superbowl and brought it over. it was spectacular.

my true love didnt make it

karisa didnt make it

miss montreal was mia.

clipper girl wasnt there.

dylan showed up though and gave me his new EP from his new band Shapes of Race Cars

and jeff whalen came over with his sister and her boyfriend sergio and jeff handed me a flyer.

it appears that Tsar will be playing The Derby next Tuesday, February 10.

the show will be free

and there will be $2 beers.

which makes me think i should consider taking wednesday off.

it’s only 10:30 but im exausted.

sergio was making us all do absinthe shots and im not as young as i used to be.

btw, the lingerie bowl was suprisingly good.

melting dolls + elise + annika