paige from paige six

busblog: hi baby

paige six helloo hellooo!

busblog: so are you too tired to do this in this chat? it will be slower than a podcast

paige six i can do it… im not really drunk or anything

busblog: ok cool

busblog: ready?

paige six yep!

busblog: ok paige six six six i adore you
busblog: and i want you
busblog: badly

paige six hee hee, i like where this interview is going

busblog: but first you must tell us what its like in London Ontario
busblog: specifically at your school Western
busblog: are
the kids talking about it, or is it old news?

paige six well UWO has this reputation you see. or at least, we like to think we have a reputation.

honestly, we are a party school, we do go out more than other uni kids i know, we do get drunk more often, our class schedules are easier
than per say, UfT (university of toronto).. or at least I think so, because no
one at UWO has class on friday and everyone at UfT does but the whole party reputation
really is from the 1980s-90s the school admin got super concerned about the rep
and totally locked down in the late 90s on all partying and insurance and liability…
so as much as UWO kids like to say that we go to an insane school.. it’s not like
it once was

paige six now Saugeen..
where the stripper thing was.. Saugeen in itself has a whole other reputation.
it is a rez which holds 1252 people. the third largest rez in North America, the
largest in Canada. people think that david letterman or playboy once said that
it was the "second most likely place to get laid in NA" but that is
just a rumour and has never been confirmed.

paige six not to say that its not a wild place, and not to say that the kids
who live there don’t try and live up to said reputation.. but it’s not as insane
as people like to think it is.. it’s just like any other first-year student rez
in NA so basically.. UWO is this: a place which attracts people who want to party,
and so people in first year try and fullfill the reputation as much as they can

busblog: my kinda place

paige six ha ha,
that’s what i thought when i lived there
paige six though, when I got my acceptance into rez I cried. a lot of kids FREAK out when
they get into saugeen because of it’s bad rep
paige six and parents hate it even more.. like during oweek.. so many kids
ask "does saugeen really smell like sex?"
paige six most people from other universities ask this too
paige six stupid generalizations

busblog: shouldnt it smell of beer and weed?

paige six
ooh it does

busblog: ok so lets get this
straight
busblog: your first year you lived in
saugeen?

paige six yes

busblog: and at first you were nervous because you thought the bad rep of the residence
hall would make you look… trashy?

paige six
no no.. more that.. it just had a bad rep. i had a long term boyfriend, i wanted
to be in a suite-style rez, i didn’t want to be in "the zoo" (saugeen’s
nickname) because it has this stupid rep for being a party and making you fail
and having STDs
paige six but really, its
no different than anywhere else, and was actually the best year of my life. i
should have lived there a second year, i totally regret not doing so

busblog: nice
busblog: ok so now to this girl– does everyone claim to know her?

paige six no…like.. only a few people have said they do. even i have tried to find connections to her and it’s been pretty hard

busblog: but for sure she was a stripper somewhere in London, and these boys wanted a stripper that night and walked down the hall and convinced her to come over?

paige six well i dont know for sure if she is. i’ve heard that. as far as i know, they just thought to ask around until someone agreed to strip.

busblog: !!!
busblog: why is it that it never occured to me to just ask random girls to strip for me and my friends?

paige six see.. now you know!
paige six ha haha

busblog: damn
busblog: ok, so is it true that she dropped out of school because of all this?
paige six nope.. i think she’s still in it

busblog: GOOD
busblog: ok, so what did the college paper have to say about this yesterday and the day before? anything?

paige six they said nothing. but our paper stopped running about three days before it became really big. apparently they were going to say something, but it doesn’t surprize me that they didn’t, becuase it would have been too much of a liability on them. the admin would have freaked that it got promotion, cos like i said, admin has been on reputation repair for the past five years

busblog: but the London paper reported on it today as did the Toronto Star
busblog: but if you guys are on break i can see why they didnt

paige six yeah, like the school paper stopped printing on the.. 8th? and classes ended then too. so basically the school shuts down during exams, except for student generated gossip

busblog: ok now i understand that the students have an internal file sharing dealie
busblog: is that true?
busblog: is it like Napster and a message board all in one?

paige six yeah, the residences have a server, which is student run
paige six more like just… soulseek?

busblog: im too old to know what that is
busblog: kazaa?

paige six ha ha yeah, napster kazaa styles
paige six and the whole thing is, you can download anything off it in seconds. like a movie takes 3 minutes. so everyone uses it, it has everything on it, and students post pictures and videos to share too

busblog: so wasnt there a porno filmed at uwo recently?
busblog: or was that filmed in saugeen?

paige six no. it was filmed two years ago. at a house off campus which was lived in by some students
paige six but it had nothing to do with the school

busblog: glad that was cleared up
busblog: was it a real porn or one of those College Fuck Fest ones?

paige six college invasion four?

busblog: gonna have to pick that bad boy up

paige six ha haha
paige six basically, it was a keg party
paige six and then the company came up from cali
paige six brought porn stars
paige six and set up in various houses… rooms, not houses

paige six but so it was a kegger with sex scenes happening

busblog: oh wait shit College Invasion?
busblog: thats Shane, right?

paige six umm?

busblog: Shanes World

paige six oh maube

busblog: thats a good series if thats what it is
busblog: porn stars with local college boys
busblog: the boys always look waaaaay intimidated and freaked out

paige six no, i think it was all professionals, just with uni kids in the background
paige six here’s the article
paige six yeah… Shane

busblog: ahhhhhhhhhh
busblog: ok, now what are the girls saying about this stripper girl
busblog: because in my comments and around the web, im seeing girls rip on this stripper
busblog: calling her all the names in the book
busblog: is that what you and your friends are doing too?

paige six no. i am certainly not.. and well.. people i know from western are saying that.. she’s insane, but not calling her slutty
paige six people who don’t go to western, on the other hand.. are FREAKING OUT
paige six like they don’t get it, they think she’s redic, they think she should be expelled, punished, everything

busblog: i can sorta see how parents can be freaked out but… shes smiling like crazy in the pics
busblog: shes just as happy as the boys

paige six yeah. i havent really talked to any parents about it.. i told my mom, but she didn’t say much, other than to ask for clarification about what I meant when I said sex show

busblog: she hadnt read the paper? its not the talk of the town?
busblog: "oh YOUR daughter goes there…?"

paige six it was only reported in the toronto star, and in the london paper..
which we dont read
paige six its not like, THAT big
paige six i was out tonight with
like.. 20-odd uni kids
paige six and i think we all knew about it.. but everyone needed clarification
paige six i think that its big for students, people who just graduated.. and like…. prospective parents
paige six but i dont think the average western parent will know about it unless they are out gossiping with other parents

busblog: http://www.technorati.com/
busblog:
more people are talking about your school, my sweet angel, than King Kong
busblog: only the Apprentice finale and some idiot named David Brooks are getting more blog-ink than Western
busblog: i got 8,000 hits on my blog yesterday of people looking for pics of the saugeen stripper
busblog: and buzznet… shit, i wish i could tell you how many hits Buzznet got but i dont have that many fingers and toes

paige six yeah i got 9,500 yesterday, referrals from torontoist
paige six but i guess, what you have to remember, is that people on the internet are tuned in people, looking for information all the time
paige six my mom, and your run of the mill parent, on the other hand, is not so atuned to such things

busblog: but i would have thought that word would have spread
busblog: especially about something that happened where her daughter attends

paige six holyshit
paige six i didnt even expect this technorati thing

busblog: dude me neither

paige six yeah..no.. i think while its a huge gossip thing, it is still an internet thing
paige six how does "hey did you see those pictures of a naked girl?"
come up in conversation unless youre talking to someone who is an established internet user?

busblog: ahahahaha
busblog: does Saugeen sell tshirts? or sweatshirts? or hoodies?
busblog: i want one. i’ll pay

paige six ooh the hoodies are secretly sold
paige six or used to be..
paige six they dont make them anymore…
paige six they have lame school sanctioned ones that say "zoo.. celebrating diversity"
paige six which is LAME
paige six but the ZOO ones i have… used to be sold like totally backdoor in rez

busblog: can i use that pic on my blog?
paige six i can send you a cooler one

paige six thats what all of saugen looks like in one room
paige six just to show how big the rez is

busblog: tell us a little more about the Saugeen Zoo for we americans who dont know
busblog: particularily a few years back when you were rockin the rez

paige six okay so there is this thing called the zoocrew
paige six cos saugeen is called "the z00"
paige six and for a while, zoocrew was this like, secret frat
paige six boys ran it, upperyears who would come back and live in rez
paige six and they did all these events at bars for the saugeen kids which were always INSANE (but then ended the year after i was in rez)
paige six but one of the events was called zoobucks
paige six where you would go and get a few "zoodollars" at the door, and then you could pay people zoobucks to do things
paige six or get paid zoobucks to do things
paige six and they would run contests on stage for zoobucks
paige six and whoever had the most at the end of the night would win
paige six and i won in first year
paige six but mainly cos i knew a lot of the zoocrew

busblog: and what did you spend your zoobucks on?

paige six i got a digi camera from it
paige six its all paper money you trade into zoocrew if you win
paige six everyone gets $5 at the begining of the night
paige six i had over $250,000 when i won
paige six but as i said, i knew zoocrew boys, so that helped

busblog: what were some ways that people earned their zoobucks?
busblog: present company xcepted

paige six well i didnt do any of the onstage contests
paige six but they contests were like… wet tshit, loudest orgasm, banana blowjobs
paige six whiped cream strip teases

busblog: and they stopped doing this why?

paige six cos… when the admin freaked about saugeens rep in 1999ish…
paige six okay there are a few reasons
paige six but mainly, admin freakes and makes a whole bunch of regulations which made it hard to have zoocrew and the zoo rep
paige six so the frat of guys living in rez got less and less cool.. it wasnt fun to live in rez for more than a year anymore
paige six also, ontario got rid of grade 11, i mean grade 13, sorry
paige six so in my second year, people started university when they were 17 and 18
paige six and no one wanted to be in rez as a 19-20year old wth underage kids
paige six so basically, three years ago no one even condsidered going back to rez unless they were huge geeks
paige six and so without upperyears there was no one to keep the zoocrew going
paige six and it just crumbled
paige six and then internally, the guys all started fighting and such
paige six so it was doomed

busblog: the rise and fall of a canadian legend

paige six yes.
paige six exxxxxxactly

busblog: and you were in the middle of it
busblog: thats so classic
busblog: ok im gonna put this up
busblog: adn link to you
busblog: cuz you need 10k hits today

paige six ha haha yes.. more stripper hits!
paige six but theyre better when they come from you

busblog: awwwwwww

paige six and arent just about boys looking for nakedpictures

busblog: well i link to you and now i owe you so i will link more

paige six awww tony youre so good to me! (and my blog)

busblog: im glad you feel that way
busblog: i think im having some serious heartburn from the shawerma i ate
busblog: so i must run

paige six but yes… i need sleeeeep now!

busblog: ok thanks again paige!!!

paige six youre very welcome!
paige six gooooooodnight tony!

busblog: nite!!!

obligatory link to photos of the saugeen stripper of the university of western ontario + paige (above) w/terra

by howard stern on traditional “terrestrial” radio, and it’s hard to imagine the medium being the same without him.

for over 20 years Stern has taken the torch from other innovative “shock”-jocks like Steve Dahl and raised the entire talk-biz to a new level.

stern says it and it’s true: before him there were no Rush Limbaughs, or O’Reilly’s, no “Love Lines” or Mancows. there were fake djs like Rick Dees or Casey Kasem counting backwards and presenting lame tame PG-rated bits as filler inbetween the top 40 music.

very few djs, especially on FM, were dedicated to talk… let alone personal talk or sexy conversations. and even fewer were stating their political beliefs and Average Joe opinoins.

and dare i say that nobody was telling the world how small their penis was or asking their mother about sex on the radio.

when i first heard Stern i didnt get it. i thought he was just another Dahl ripoff like Johnny B or Kevin Whateverhisnamewas – but a new york version.

thankfully it turned out that Howard was very much like Dahl in that he was comfortable with talking about his own life as opposed to spinning records, and he wanted to have fun with his own sexuality, he wanted to ask his listeners provacative quesitons, and he wanted to squeeze every bit of honesty out of his coworkers.

somehow this formulae helped Stern become one of the better interviewers of all time. perhaps it was that freedom where any question was allowed, therefore better and more truthful answers were revealed.

one day someone will put together all of Sterns best interviews from JFK jr, to Paul McCartney, to Julia Roberts, to Jim Carey, to even one that he did this year with Stevie Wonder where Stern asked every single embarrassing but genuinely curious question that you and i would ask if we had the courage and listened for these stars to answer.

sometimes they’d reveal, sometimes they wouldnt, but after a while you realized that you werent being shocked by Howard any more, you were being shocked by how far these stars would allow the conversations to go.

A few months ago Weezer’s painfully shy Rivers Cuomo admitted to Howard that in two and a half years he’s neither engaged in sex or masturbated. Weezer is hugely popular, their record is doing absolutely fine, but Rivers came out with this revelation because he admires Stern and has been a long-time fan. Watch or listen to many Weezer interviews over the years, rivers barely talks, instead letting the rest of the band answer the questions, but with Howard he was an open book.

why? probably because Howard appears to be an open book. he will talk about his fears, his troubles, his paranoias, his past his present and his future. he talks about his model girlfriend who’s 20 years his junior. he talks about how he still masturbates to help him get to sleep, he talks about going to a shrink four times a week. howard has no limits so hes not being hypocritical when he invites his interviewees to drop their facade.

katie couric however is a fraud and a hypocrite since she asks personal questions but doesnt reveal any about herself. that is why you will never see a great interview come from couric.

but Stern has also made mountains out of molehills in turning retards into rockstars. one could argue that any good interviewer can get something good from a celebrity but how do you make average people seem interesting – or better yet how do you make non-celebrities famous.

from crackhead bob to stuttering john and hank the dwarf to now beetlejuice – stern has been a king midas of finding people who are without question freaky and making them extremely popular by not just making fun of them, but having fun with them.

so yes you might be able to find an interesting on-air personality to fill the time for four hours in the morning – david lee roth and adam corrolla will be decent enough, but will they be able to get the stars to really talk, and how well will they do with the outrageous non-celebs – and will they even try?

tomorrow is Stern’s last day on the FM dial and to celebrate they plan on closing down several blocks around the station to hold a huge party. rock group Staind will be the house band and celebs, rockstars, and former guests of the show are scheduled to attend.

however because of a looming transit strike, Fox News is reporting that the show might not go on outside because if people have to rely on automobiles to get into NYC tomorrow the city might not allow for the streets to be blocked off for even the king of all media.

either way if i have some readers out there who plan on attending the Stern farewell , please email your digital pics to howardstern.pics@buzznet.com and i will make sure to put them on this page on Buzznet and of course on the busblog.

mega dildoes and bababooey to you all.

Update: via koganuts

– The big gathering will take place on 56th Street between 5th and 6th (Enter from 5th Ave) near Howard’s studio which is located at 40 West 57th Street.

– The fans can not start gathering until 6:00am on December 16th.

– Howard will not be allowed to go outside to address the crowd until 8:00am.

– A possible transit strike will put a stop to the whole gathering. The strike may
start as of midnight on Thursday, December 15th.

– The band Staind is scheduled to perform for the crowd.

– Yahoo.com will be covering Howard’s big final show on the web.

– Howard 100 News (on SIRIUS Satellite Radio ) will have live, non-stop coverage and news about Howard’s final show on Friday morning.

– Some fans (a select few picked by Howard) will be invited to the after party which will be held at the Hard Rock Cafe where Sheryl Crowe has agreed to perform.

mmm + zonaboy + this picture of the saugeen stripper of the university of western ontario is now the most popular at buzznet of all time

why is it that i dont she is?

why does she just seem like a simple small town college stripper?

and therefore maybe slutti with an i

a twist on the tabboo from the ipod and imac generation

islut

slutty in a good way.

slutty in a great way.

that girl may end up being a slut one day but right now shes just a hot college girl who likes getting naked for the fellas and watching them pay.

i have no problems with this girl.

i want to be that girl’s friend.

if life was myspace, id ask her to add me as a friend

id even put her in my top eight if she said she was down with the busblog

im easy.

but one of the more interesting things about these pictures being up on buzznet is being able to see where a lot of the traffic was coming from and what people were saying about it.

many were asking why was this news?

– the school said it wasnt a big deal and no one was going to be expelled
– it was an event that happened in october
– there were no victims

and as always, the kids raise good points.

i think it was news because there were pictures. without pictures it’s a yawner, with pictures it says way more than any dumbfuck hack reporter could write in six paragraphs. and since there were more than two dozen pictures much of the story speaks for itself which is: damn those some lucky dudes.

some people however chose to look at the pictures with disdain and anger.

“hope your parents are proud” “youre a whore” “poor girl” “you have no self respect”, were spread around blogs message boards and even the comments sections in buzznet by less than amused people, mostly women.

lets daydream for a minute with me.

lets pretend i was reborn as a nineteen year old hottie in bumblefuck ontario.

no offense.

in fact lets not offend anyone, lets pretend i was reborn as a nineteen year old hottie in kickass ontario and i went to a super fun party school called the univeristy of isla vista.

and lets pretend that i liked to get naked.

and i was a cute girl.

and people would pay me to dance around naked.

even i cant pretend that if i was a girl id want to lapdance boys, so lets pretend i was a lesbian and i was in a room full of other hot lesbians.

isnt pretending the fucking best?

ok now lets pretend that all those cute young lebians with sweet smiles on their faces only had $40 canadian to pay me.

id take the money and get naked and dance around and you would too.

that girl is not a slut.

that girl is having a great time, in college, which is home of the greatest times of your life.

the busblog is not in favor of double standards in regards to sexiness.

if any of those young men were photographed giving lap dances to a room full of young women it would not have made it to the toronto star

we dont need to be punishing girls for being hot and sharing that hotness with the world.

motherfuckers cant sell a hamburger without the help of some skinny fashion model and you want to criticize women for buying into your beliefs that sexy = everything

how dare you

protect me against terrorists and flag burners, but take it easy on the girls who dress up as nurses and are eager to provide some body shots.

no this girl isnt a slut, shes the reason most of us look back at college with a smile that wont quit.

back when i was in junior college i was pumping gas in beverly hills on santa monica blvd across the street from century city.

i had just been accepted to ucla and uc santa barbara. both schools were great but very very different. ucla was in LA, had a great sports program, and it was close to everything. ucsb had an ok basketball team but was about to lose football. but it was surrounded by beach and sorta secluded from everything.

so i asked the people whod come into the gas station about my dilema, especially those who had ucla or ucsb stickers on their cars.

i asked the ucla people, hows ucla, and theyd say oh great man great.

i asked the ucsb people, hows ucsb, and theyd say OMG greatest. place. ever.

some of the ucsb people wouldnt stop raving for a good five minutes.

as you know i followed their advice and if youve read this blog for a while you’ll know that im one of those people who cant stop raving about it.

and yes some of it had to do with the members of the opposite sex.

who i didnt know.

until.

in fact at one particular party one girl came up to me to kiss me and halfway through i noticed her girlfriend had snuck in there too.

were we all sluts?

or were we totally loving the beautiful weirdness of the threeway kiss?

learning. in college. what a concept.

hopefully this particular young woman has either a thick skin or a good sense of human nature, knowing that some people cant fathom being totally ok with their own body

and their spirit.

hopefully this young woman will realize that not everyone can understand the heights that selfconfidence and freedom can soar too.

and hopefully one of my dear readers at the university of western ontario will tell this fine young creature, my hero and role model, that i love her, and i wish to marry her, cuz shes my new girlfriend.

and if shes lucky i’ll even kisser on the first date.

this girls a party girl, a good girl, my girl, who got to a point of not giving a fuck.

which is an excellent destination when seeking education.

if that sassy little angel straight from heaven is a slut

then i heart sluts.

this picture is the most viewed buzznet picture ever + doubling the former number one in two days + something awful had the best thread + although dogbus was pretty funny if you read the whole thing

nice job finding saddam. to be honest i never thought you could do it.

not like it was you who couldnt find him.

and i know it wasnt actually you who opened up the fake door tagged him and said “youre it!”

but you know what i mean.

good job.

i feel safer now.

so thanks.

and im really stoked that it wont take an hour and a half to get on an airplane anymore.

and that they wont make people get out of line and take off their shoes anymore.

and the stock market will go back up, and stay up.

and man, now that you have him all locked up and captured, im sure he will be telling you right away where all those weapons of mass destructions are.

and we will never have to worry about the good people of iraq ever blowing up the world trade center, or the pentagon again.

speaking of which, when are we going into saudi arabia?

i love that one line of yours, if youre not with us, youre against us.

almost as good as your dads read my lips.

theyre not with us

are they with us?

theyre not with us.

if they were with us, theyd just let us walk in and look around for osama.

and if theyre against us now, the same way they were against us before, then arent they even more dangerous than saddam was?

they’re not with us.

not only would one think that theyre probably harboring terrorists, but they breed them: 15 of the 19 9/11 terrorists were saudi and not iraqi, and osama was saudi and not iraqi like saddam.

so hey, when are we going in?

and by we i dont me you.

and i sure as shit dont mean me.

or is it that now that you have your re-election pretty much wrapped up, and you wont have to steal this one, youre not interested any more in countries who are against us?

countries who were actually behind 9/11, and not just the most favored scapegoat like iraq was?

what we learned today was $100 billion, 9 months of quote unquote war, and foot soldiers walking around a country hunting for a man, can indeed yield up that man.

seek and ye shall find.

so when will we go to saudi arabia and seek and find osama?

who blew up america and left behind a gaping wound?

i applaud you for finding the straw man after so much time, money, and close to 500 american military deaths.

when will you ask the american people for another billion, another 500 deaths, and another nine months to find bin laden, the terrorist cells that helped produce 15 of the 19 911 hijackers and instill a democracy in saudi arabia?
saudi arabia doesnt have a democracy.

“there’s not even the pretense in Saudi Arabia of a democracy.”

women cant drive cars there.

people get amputated by the crown so they will confess to crimes, and some criminals are executed in public.

a few years ago they were executing two people a week.

and if youre not a criminal, lets just say you’re gay, they kill you.

didnt we just blow the fuck out of iraq and just got a boner cuz we caught saddam cuz he killed his people?

do we only care about murdering tyrants when they kill heterosexuals?

course not.

like i said im stoked you got saddam, and im stoked you care so much about human rights and weapons of mass destruction and about dethroning nations who steal money and freedom and hope from their people and literally murder them right there in the streets.

and im stoked youre not going to stop at bringing a democracy to just afghanistan and iraq.

im stoked youre going to bring it to saudi arabia

and china

and north korea

and africa

and south central.

but im super stoked that we now know how to do it

declare war… sorta, blow shit up, die a little, kill his sons even the kids, be patient, spend a ton of money your own country doesnt have, keep asking people where bro is, then find him hiding

then shave him

then smile.

i feel so safe right now.

fleshbot’s main story links to Buzznet + terra + coop + doc searls

they’ll read something that i write the wrong way or they’ll hear something that i didnt mean and they’ll get the false impression that im cocky or have a big head or think im the shit.

i know im not the shit.

people who ride motorcycles are the shit.

and people who can fly off their motorcycles while jumping over entire rows of busses… well… i know im not someone like that.

last year at this time i was riding the damn bus so how big of a head could i have?

i ate a salad yesterday with karisa.

being away from the look-look girls ive scooted away from a healthy diet.

so yesterday karisa and i ate at the sf saloon on pico and i had an oriental chicken salad of some sort and karisa had the chicken pita.

karisa insisted on anchor steam since it was on tap.

i hadnt seen her since the troubador tsar show but that was in the dark so i wasnt able to report back to you how shes holding up

and i guess shes holding up.

she just got a new job that shes gonna start next week and its about 4 miles from buzznet so it looks like we’ll have lunch a bit more often than never.

she said she liked my scruffy halfbeard, particularily the gray hairs poking through.

im a thousand years old i reminded her.

and i didnt tell her that there was a terrible rumor circulating the internets saying that the new york yankees were interested in possibly signing nomar garciapara

and putting him at first base.

thus having an infield of all the best shortstops of the nineties – nomar, arod, and jeter.

and i forgot to tell her that steve dahl podcasts his shows now.

the original howard stern.

howard who was on the daily show last night and was pretty great.

if i was just paid a half billion dollars to have a radio show for five years i think my confidence would improve.

a little.

and i wouldnt be eating salads at the sf saloon.

id be eating salads at my malibu beach house served by my topless waitstaff of future raiderettes.

yesterday was erin’s birthday + today is koganuts’s birthday + the pants

hey buddy.

uh, hi, kurt.

i dont really know how to say this to you, so i’ll just come right out and say it. youre dead.

pardon me?

ok, let me put it this way, knock knock.

heh. who’s there?

not you, because you’re dead.

can i ask you a question?

sure.

good, am i on acid?

no, youre dead.

how did i die?

i can tell you, but then i’d have to bring you back to life. ahahahahaha. sorry, little joke we tell.

what’s this hole in my chest?

thats where you were stabbed with a knife.

who the hell would stab me?

lots of people. the idiots and the murderous. the reckless and abused. those jealous of your friends. the fathers of the young women youve had. the sisters of the young women youve had. the conservatives who fear that you might go to law school and then run for office. bud selig, coldplay, george bush. or any of the hundreds of criminals you sent to jail with the xbi. and of course the pope and the ghost of the xpope whose grave you pissed on when he died.

you know whats funny, kurt, youd think id be sad, but im not sad.

good.

but i will miss all my friends.

they’ll probably miss you too.

and i love the people of Earth.

theres people of Earth where you’re going.

yeah, but i liked life.

you did? you were always bitching about it. you were never satisfied with any of the girls you got. you were never pleased with where you lived or what you did for a living, or what you looked like, or what you wrote, or who you were. dont bullshit me, bro.

hmmm. i did like chris.

too little, too late, cubfan.

and i liked living on del playa.

youre going to a better place.

i am?

maybe.

what!

hopefully.

fuck.

hey i got in and i broke some major rules.

thats right, you killed yourself.

major faux pas, let me tell you.

how did you get in after something like that?

G-o-G.

whats that?

Grace of God. thats how everyone gets in.

what if you were super good?

doesnt matter, without the GoG you dont get in.

so, like, mother theresa?

God isnt crazy about the Catholics. little known fact. especially the ones who know better. they disobeyed the very last line in the Bible, “dont add anything to this text or else you will get all the curses written herein on your ass.”

thats not exactly what it says.

whatever.

damn, kurt, even in your afterlife you’re controversial.

ready to hit the road, pallie?

wow. im really dead?

dead as grunge.

and i have to leave this apartment behind?

you can haunt it if you want, but scaring people becomes dull. it’s pretty easy.

but its sorta messy, i’d hate to leave a mess.

trust me, dude, people are going to make a fortune eBaying your stuff. youve got some great shit here.

yeah somewhere in here i have a ticket stub from your last show in LA.

not anymore,

kurt cobain said and flashed me the stub and tucked it into the breast pocket of his raggedy flannel.

panajane, pictured + amy you are perfect + i had lunch with karisa today + rabbit and crow

With the Saugeen Stripper! (links to all the pictures below)

There are many reasons why I love Canada – the people are nice, the beer is cold, people love puck, and when i visited there i didnt see one ugly girl.

But the way that Paige and Alex’s school is handling this Saugeen Stripper scandal is unreal. Apparently what happened was some freshmen wanted to celebrate their buddy’s birthday by hiring a stripper, but they realized they had very little cash and they didnt know any strippers.

One of their friends said, no problem bros, theres some girls down the hall who strip on the side.

And sure enough they DID strip on the side and they marched down the hall and did a nice bump and grind for the boys for allegedly $40 (canadian). This was in October and all would have been a fine little tale if it hadnt been for a few dozen pictures that were snapped.

The other day I noticed a traffic bump on one of our users pages on Buzznet and lo and behold were the pictures that I had been emailed (as im sure all of you had been emailed) and i was all, oh thats smart, someone decided to put them on Buzznet. We’re cool with the nude body, good for them this way nobody will have their email boxes filled up or be cursed with potential virus.

But no way did I expect the sort of traffic that avrilrulez.buzznet.com is now getting due to the Toronoto Star story about the Saugeen Stripper below. 25,000 hits! Go Avril! Go Canada. And I must say that I’m proud of our neighbors to the north for handling this in an adult manner.

My only question is, why are the curious only looking at the first two pictures? Those are beautiful young women. Why only check out 2 of the 24 pics? Is it that difficult to keep clicking the photos?

I guess some guys really finish quickly.

Toronto Star
LOUISE BROWN
EDUCATION REPORTER

Canadian universities have no business, it seems, in the bedrooms of the campus dorm.

Yet thanks to the Internet, everyone else can take a peek.

The University of Western Ontario is investigating an incident in which a female first-year student performed a full striptease and lap dance last week for several males in a residence bedroom, with graphic photos soon sent out over the Internet.

A Google search on ‘saugeen stripper’ reveals several x-rated photos.

The incident raises questions about how far a university can go in protecting students, particularly younger ones from themselves.

But because the young woman apparently performed willingly in the privacy of a residence room and no one filed a complaint, the school says it likely has no cause for discipline.

“We certainly regret this has happened; it’s not something the university condones and we are very disappointed in these students, but rooms in residence are considered to be students’ homes, and what goes on between consenting adults in the privacy of their homes is considered to be their business,” said Susan Grindrod, Western’s vice-president of housing.

“What’s different in this case is that these pictures are going all over the world. With the Internet and personal blogs, pictures can be circulated very quickly, and I’m not sure how we would regulate students’ blogs and websites even if we wanted to,” said Grindrod.

As soon as the raunchy images came to the attention of the administration, officials approached the young woman to ask if she had been forced to strip or tricked into being photographed without her knowledge. She said she had not.

“We were immediately proactive because we wanted to know if there had been any coercion and she told us she was a consenting participant and she was aware that pictures were being taken,” said Grindrod.

“If there had been any coercion, there absolutely would have been repercussions. We do plan to talk to the other (male) students involved and continue to review the situation. It’s still early in the game for us to have figured out how to proceed.”

University dorms have codes of conduct that forbid students from breaking the law. Many take a zero-tolerance approach to students taking drugs and underage drinking, for example.

Western has a policy that forbids the circulation of “objectionable” material such as racist, homophobic or pornographic images, either written or electronic, with extreme cases leading to the student being asked to leave residence.

Yet most universities warn today’s highly involved baby boomer parents that campus dorm supervisors will not serve as party police or morality monitors for their children, but will enter a student’s room only if there is reason to believe a law is being broken or someone is in danger.

“We’re not the alcohol police and we’re not sex police, and I’m not sure we would want to be,” said Grindrod. “And we recognize that many young people in first year may try out new things that can lead to errors in judgment. I’m not sure some of these misbehaviours haven’t gone on in the past. It’s just that today, the images can get sent around the world.

“I actually feel badly for all the students involved in this incident. It’s a very sad situation.”

the famous Saugeen Stripper + only inevitable + katie

one of my alltime favorite bloggers

anti says: hitony!

dumbass says: whaddup bro!!

anti says: does your phone number still have 666 in the middle?

dumbass says: \ahahah
dumbass says: yes
dumbass says: 323 666 5555

anti says: that rules. you being a minister, ect.
anti says: my mom has them too
anti says: love it

dumbass says:666 biblically just means that 2/3rds of the world is “lost”
dumbass says: 66.6%
dumbass says: 666/1000

anti says: well…
anti says: that depends on what you believe
anti says: i’ve heard plenty of “ideas”

dumbass says:
well since its a Christian thing, it just means that 2/3rds dont “believe”, thats all.

anti says: i like your theory tho

dumbass says: but the trippiest part about it is
dumbass says: when Revelations was written
dumbass says: there werent that many Christians
dumbass says: but as of right now
dumbass says: on the whole planet Earth
dumbass says: exactly 1/3 of the planet considers themselves Christian
dumbass says: so the 666 has come to fruition
dumbass says: scary, if you ask me

anti says: eh…
anti says: i guess.
anti says: one could say that nostradamus was on point too
anti says: it’s all in what you believe, and if you choose to blelieve it.

dumbass says: no doubt

anti says: that was teh coolest answer anyone ever gave me as a kid, when id ask about stuff like that
anti says: “well it depends on what you believe, johnny.”

dumbass says: im not saying people *should* bleieve one thing or another, i just think its freaky that the Bible said 2/3rds wont believe no matter what
dumbass says: when are you bringing back the blog?

anti says: prolly never

dumbass says: why not?

anti says: buzznet serves me plenty

dumbass says: you dont want both?

anti says: not anymore

dumbass says: but you were blogging every day
dumbass says: you were rollin

anti says: several times a day
anti says: i have plenty to say
anti says: that will never change

dumbass says: did you get burnt out?
dumbass says: did you get sick of the lack of comments?
dumbass says: or lack of traffic?

anti says: i just broke too many rules too often
anti says: traffic i never cared about
anti says: in fact, the fewer the better

dumbass says: yes it can be more liberating with less eyeballs

anti says: i get myself in trouble with my big fat mouth
anti says: more trouble than the blog was worth
anti says: i can get my ego stroked in far less risky ways

dumbass says: it was risky cuz you were talking about herb?

anti says: i miss the blog
anti says: no, not that at all
anti says: more about the personal relationships

dumbass says: oh ahhh

anti says: exes, family, loved ones, friends….

dumbass says: right right

anti says: and i would meet people who never heard of a blog
anti says: and id get jealous of how simple that sounded
anti says: so i hopped on board with it
anti says: and just one day, i logged in to blogger…. and i couldn’t stand it
anti says: i was overwhelmed with the feeling of, “bleh.”
anti says: apathy??
anti says: who knows
anti says: the end

dumbass says: totally understood

anti says: but my ego couldnt take a total loss
anti says: so i still post pics hoping that little sluts will say
anti says: “oh anti, you are so wonderful”

dumbass says: ahahaha, isnt that what its all about?

anti says: and they do, thank you buzznet
anti says: i love that place

dumbass says: whats not to love?

anti says:i redirected my blog to there

dumbass says: so i saw

anti says: perhaps i sent a few people who might have signed up

dumbass says: no doubt you did

anti says: thats my gift

dumbass says: merci beaucoop

anti says: because buzznet rules, and deserves all my leftovers

anti says: one day i intend on leaving you a joint under your welcome mat out front
anti says: i will alert you by email to check when its ready
anti says: until then
anti says: i am outtie

anti’s buzznet page + eano + smelly + jessica + erin

since it was the sabbath and all

something im sure all of you were doing yesterday after the football and before 60 minutes.

and she asked me about polygamy and whether i believed in it.

i said of course i believe in it, the problem is getting the hot babes to believe in the things that i believe in.

she said but why would you believe in something so ridiculous.

and i said, again, there are many ridiculous things i believe in, the difficulty is getting buy-in.

for example, i believe that you should wear more plaid skirts,
i believe that you should bring your friends over here so we can have make-out competitions,
and i believe that the Cubs should sign Roger Clemens,
but…

and she stopped me, which she often does

she said, lets stick to the topic at hand. if divorces are at 50% in america, why would you believe in polygamy?

ah, i said, easy. its my belief that people quit each other cuz they get bored and they get a wandering eye. if theyre allowed to marry more hos they would be less likely to go outside the relationship for strange if they were getting it in the hizzy.

at that point she called me a pig.

asked me the question, i answered and she called me a pig.

but it was cool since i get called names all the time.

so i turned the tables on her. i said, how would you like it if you were married to a nice man, a black man, a blogger lets say, one who liked cream of chicken soup and diet dr pepper…

get to the point

how would you like it if you were married to him and you got a hand in picking his second wife?

she said, what if i wanted a bulldyke.

i said, well, because you loved this man you’d want him to be happy so maybe he would be happy with such a woman. maybe hed be happy with a cheerleader. maybe hed be happy with a soccerplayer. maybe you would both be happy with a nice combination of all of these.

being that she was bi-morethancurious she let those ideas sit with her while stirring her pita in the spinach dip.

then she said, tony if you believe in polygamy so much, why arent you doing it?

ah, i said, because even though its totally cool in the bible, and even though abraham, saul, david, solomon, and even moses had more than one wife, the bible commands that we obey the laws of the land – which is one reason i dont smoke pot any more – so even if i believe in it its unlawful and therefore a sin.

and thats when she excused herself and returned in a plaid skirt, a cowboy hat, and nothing else but a smile.

and yes america sometimes i feel like the luckiest man in the world but sometimes i feel cursed, because yes i would make a great husband to several wives, i would make sure that they were all happy and pleased and content

and yes i would pick an assortment who would get along together very well

and its not like im someone that anyone would get jealous of

and yes its true i have what it takes to satisfy a small harem – if not two small ones – and it helps to study the poetry of diplomacy as well as the language of love

but like the fact that i would also make an excellent marijuana farmer, some things just dont mesh with todays society

so im doomed settling for the one-at-a-time

and then writing it down for you.

poo.

polygamists in the bible + i love this woman + emmanuelle and matt do europe + peter g

not everyone gets to keep their bodies when they get sent to here.

tailgaters are sometimes turned into trees. the devil will make them just stand there for a couple hundred years. then maybe turned into a house. then torn down. never burned. that would be too cute. he’d waterlog the wood. warp it. then allow it to float down the river styx back home to be reassigned.

some get turned into bugs. some into animals. some into peoples pets. some get turned into dangerous animals. some get turned into fish.

i used to be afraid of fish and when i got down here and they showed me my file. apparently a long time ago i was sent to hell and then turned into a fish and had to swim around in the dark cold depths of the atlantic for a few dozen years.

a while back i was given a reprieve from whatever i was doing and reassigned as a lightskinned black american male born to a well educated middle class family and raised in the suburbs in the midwest.

later, it seems, the giver of grace was not very happy with what i did with those blessings.

so there i was banging some girl in hell’s sex palace and all of this was dawning on me: life is all context. perspective. compared to contracting stds nightly in the pits of pandemonium, flying chopper one across the skies of hollywood wasnt so bad.

and if i didnt like it, it wasnt like i was some old growth redwood, i could go do something else with my life. i could actually take control of my destiny as opposed to waiting on the universe to decide.

f the universe.

the universe is 2/3s lost souls doing what some guy more lost than them is telling them to do.

the good news was i was getting used to my demonic body. my thing wasnt falling off any more.

the crowd didnt flamethrow me as much any more. usually they waited until the end when i wasnt looking. then they all laughed and then applauded my incinerated smoking remains.

that night i went to bed and before i fell asleep i heard a still soft voice.

tony it said.

yes?

today is the last day of the year.

it is?

yes, do you know what that means down here?

no, i dont.

it means that you can be judged again.

it does?

yes, are you sorry for what you did to get here?

yes i am.

do you think youve learned some valueable things here?

oh yes. definately.

do you think youd make a better person if you were given another chance?

oh yes! yes i would!

and then i woke up.

still in hell.

it was just a dream.

and then my dirty rag of a pillow said.

nobody gets out of hell.

dumbass.

– pages 73-75 from Stiff