in my most secret dreams im a fancy photographer

i have a french gay dude as my assistant who yells at everyone as to what to do

i also have a drunk semi super model who wears cowboy hats and fuzzy bikinis

she shoots cap guns too closely to people.

her role is to startle people right before i snap the camera

theres the guy with the smoke machine, and the dog who barks, and the lighting lady

and the makeup man and the fat guy with the megaphone yelling step right up

for no reason, to no one in particular

but in one way i want the models to feel totally alienated and at the same time mildly disturbed

it keeps them from acting like models.

i was gonna hire someone to knock on the front door a lot, but i had to pay the man to fix my car.