Monthly Archives: January 2024

can you separate the artist from the art?

Posted on by

i can. i hope you can too because im not perfect. i have done bad things. i have broken sweet girls’ hearts after promising id never. im probably not even gonna go to heaven.

but dont punish my fiction or my prose or my podcasts. those were my apologies.

i still listen to ted nugent. kid rock. and can appreciate trump’s appearances on stern back in the day.

kid rock put on one of the best concerts i ever saw. he had joe c, the little guy running around, he had a black lady drummer with a giant afro. showed up in a fur coat and track pants.

sue me, i love fur coats.

i love many many things if i thought about i probably wouldn’t choose but i still like em. youve never seen that picture of Magic in a fur coat? hall n oats?

hopefully it was faux but what can i tell you? my grandma had real furs, minks, rabbits. her great grandma was a slave. i give that woman permission to wear whatever she wants. and flaunt her wealth how she wants. love her. she beat me. with a shiny purse with a gun in it. totally unpc today. maybe could go to jail for that. but who cares. not me. i love her so much. i am her in so many ways and i love it. i wish i was more of her in more ways.

she would have demanded to get out of that jail. WHY IS A BLACK WOMAN IN HERE FOR LOVING HER GRANDSON WITH THE BACK OF MY HAND? HALF THESE NAPPY ASS HEATHENS BEHIND THESE BARS WOULDNT BE HERE IF SOMEONE LOVED THEM ENOUGH TO BEAT THEIR BLACK ASSES.

how do i know she would have said that? because she said it outloud all the time anywhere we went. so embarrassing but also wonderfully entertaining.

4 people at the grocery store. Grandma rolls her cart up now its 5. IF I WAS WHITE I BET REGISTER 3 WOULD HAVE OPENED UP BUT IM NOT IM BLACK. A BLACK WOMAN TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF HER FAMILY BUT YALL DONT CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE D— suddenly a register would ding open and everyone would watch her get her way.

they tell me this director or that was bad or evil or even criminal.

ok. what was his apology like?

etienne and i have been chatting

Posted on by

just know nothing i do regarding my heart
my financials
my career
my creativity
or my diet

makes any sense.

if there was a button that said correct choice

it would be the least touched button on my dashboard

but graciously, the Lord Above has saved my ass time and time again

for example when i was at santa monica college and pumping gas in beverly hills

i was torn between going to uc santa barbara and ucla

i had zero idea ucsb was a party school. the internet hadnt even been created. there was no way to know unless you had gone there,

it didnt become notorious until the years i was there

pure coincidence, i assure you

but i sincerely went there because i thought it would be easier for me to study

since it was away from LA and all the distractions here.

i swear.

but the Lord turned that mistake into a good thing.

(the greatest thing.)

etienne and i had some very high highs and very low lows.

there is something about her, still, that inspires me

i was writing her while under all these meds and too much sleep and these words just came flowing out and they were funny and creative and i just sat back as part of the audience because they were doing all the work and she was crying and i was laughing

it was such a flow i probably could have written a books worth of psychedelic romantic comedy all while asking about some of our past moments and she answering honestly and in such a lovely way

one thing i told her in this long flow ended like this

we must have been married 500 years ago and had a messy divorce over a misunderstanding that was revealed with a dna test long after i was hung

she wants to start a dog rescue down there so i made up a name and a poster

 

 

covid with kaiser

Posted on by

 

9:15pm – take the self Covid test I had received from Kaiser. It was positive.

9:30pm – call Kaiser “hey I tested positive, can I get some Paxlovid?” They tap tap tap on the compute and tell me a doctor will call me back.

11pm: I call back to their pharmacy. Yo! The nice lady says she sees the request but it hasn’t been approved yet. She’s gonna text someone.

11:15pm: I fall asleep. 3:30am: I wake up. No messages on my phone. ?!?! I call again. This person says I need to call for an appointment to talk to a doctor and that doc will prescribe the Paxlovid. “You can’t just call in for a medicine.” I say great. Can you transfer me? “No.”

3:45am. I call Appointments. Guy says next appointment is tomorrow at 9pm. But says if I go to the website I can have a doc call me back in 5 minutes. I ask, “you have a computer, you can’t book this through your computer?” No.

4am: I get to the computer. Book the appointment. Says someone will call me back in 5 minutes.

4:45am I tweet the madness because no one has called me back. I begin to see why they make so much in profit and why so many in LA are ill.

5am: I go back to the website. Request a video call. I get a wonderful Jamaican woman who says because I’ve had kidney stones I need a blood test to make sure I can even get Paxlovid. She is apologetic and wonderful. But I have to stay up for 3 hours to get the test bc even though I live near Kaiser’s flagship hospital, it’s not truly 24/7 and she tells me if I go in the afternoon, it may not get the results until late in the evening.

very sick

Posted on by

gave away my clippers tickets

sneezed coughed barfed all the things

can barely look at this screen

i’ll sit in an uncomfortable position knowing i need to move soon but this position is better than the others

symbolism

if not for the cats that always want food id never leave this half laying half seated position.

someone told me they loved me on the phone today

Posted on by

someone unexpected

a bro

but in a very heartfelt, sweet way

on a borderline, hey, you know we’re all gonna die, prob sooner than we think so

just know i love you and youre my bro

but without that character count.

do i have a good life? yes.

are my cats trying to ruin my life by pooping on the floor

FOR A SECOND DAY

and ruining my beauty sleep?

yes, but i should probably stop going to bed at 6am.

true, but my sleep schedule shouldnt revolve around two cats that were strays that appeared on my door as kittens

delicious kittens any mountain lion would have eaten like a twinkie

and then pooped out

not on my floor

not beside the window

not on my cubs blanket on my couch

but in a place the mountain lion knew was the right place to poop.

also talked to a beautiful woman for an hour about some fascinating things

including someone she knows very well i adore from afar

and someone i know ok who she adores from afar

this planet is tiny

dont poop in the wrong places

 

defending my favorite newspaper.

Posted on by
On Twitter a user named @TheAgeofShoddy
told the union boss of the LA Times, which had its first walk out in the paper’s 142 year history: 
You have no business asking for solidarity, now or ever. Your institution and your membership are a mockery of the term.
And then he pasted this opinion column from 2022 that has irked a bunch of anti-vaxxers, to no surprise of anyone. 

Image

To which I replied thusly:
That’s an opinion column, sweetie.

Every decent newspaper from high school to the pros have them. Subscribe to the LA Times for the next 6 months for just a dollar and you’ll be amazed how much more you’ll learn. latimes.com/subscriptions/

To which he wrote:

@TheAgeofShoddy

As though “it’s opinion” somehow gave a pass to that kind of evil, or remove the responsibility form everyone from the writer of it, to the editors who passed it, to the publisher, to the people like you who defend it without being willing to acknowledge what it is.
And since I am a crazy person with no respect for Time Management I wrote this novella: 
You don’t come across as a young person. Therefore you must have heard a wide variety of opinions through your life on many topics.

The best newspapers provide a place for many voices. The United States, and great newspapers like the Los Angeles Times, prides itself on freedom of speech.

It separates us from other parts of this globe where people have been known to be censored, jailed, or executed for mere words.

In Putin’s Russia last year a man holding a blank sign was beaten and arrested. Then others who followed his lead. It would be irresponsible and unAmerican for those editors who passed the column you mention, or the publisher who paid the writer, as well as people like me who defend it, to claim this is a truly free country if a veteran opinion columnist was censored for writing something that may ruffle feathers — or in your opinion is “evil.”

TV censors once believed Elvis’ hip-shaking was evil.

Performative politicians in Florida today claim American history and even the dictionary in school libraries are evil.

My opinion is the prevention of an earnest exchange of ideas in a newspaper is evil and echoes some of the darkest days in human history. Far darker than a take that rubs you the wrong way.

After a quick search through your Twitter history, you have made mention of the previous POTUS who is now leading the GOP hopefuls for that party’s nomination.

That man last year was found to have raped a woman and, years ago, gave the most notorious pedophile in this nation’s history a positive review. “I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy,” Trump said.

And famously, Trump did his best to overthrow his election loss by any means necessary.

Not only have you not called any of that evil, but you called Trump and his GOP (a party that has forced women to deliver stillborn fetuses), “the lesser of two evils.”

If words are capable of being evil, in your opinion, surely countless violent actions upon innocent children, mourning mothers, and outnumbered capitol policemen are far more evil and do way more damage than a dozen paragraphs in a paper you don’t subscribe to — a paper you should support.

Because that paper, in Voltaire’s words may wholly disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.

latimes.com/subscriptions/

why do i love midjourney? let me count the ways

Posted on by

the main reason i love it is because it allows me to be creative in a way i dont have the talent for being. i cant paint. nor do i have the patience to mix colors

i also love how it adds third legs and doesnt seem to know how the human form works

theres a hack where you can upload a pic of someones face and it can apply it to the original face. doesnt always work, but its getting better with every new upgrade

i also like how you can trick it into making art on the background. i love Bosch and any time i ask it to mix a little Hiernonymous in there it kinda does it, but not really. still its the type of wallpaper id have if i was filth rich

another thing it can do is zoom out and then go to the left or right. when you do that sometimes it puts a person on the right

when it does that i also put someones face on that new person. this is also Pure who looks pretty great in these dresses, gotta say. not that ive ever seen a pic of her in anything so colorful or flowery but again thats why imagination come to life is so interesting

why is her hand like that? is she holding an invisible shot glass?

so this is where i was really impressed. i was trying to get marilyn monroe in front of the Berlin Wall. two things i figured any computer would know or have lots of reference images to search from. it did an ok job with MM’s hair and the wall wasnt bad

but when i added Pure’s face it was the best version of her face on someone elses body id seen.

the teeth arent perfect but look at that eye shadow. the details are fantastic even if the dress looks trashy on her. like what is happening there?

the shadows, her eyes, usually there would be glitches that a more patient man would fix in photoshop but all these pics here are straight out of the robot.

this dress looks a lot better. tho Berlin looks mighty grim.

its crazy what happened with my mind last night

Posted on by

i just hit a solid rock. i could not work to save my life. i would have been better off ubering all night.

finally i reached out to pure, above, and told her

whats great about her is she does not gaf so she could either ignore it or commiserate or anything

i said, after this episode i think i need a break,

she never takes breaks. and i hate breaks. i know im alone in this marathon but i wanna set records. records that will never be broken by one person.

which is an insane goal because everything gets broken.

and with tech, its gonna be way easier for the youngsters.

i hadnt done any face tweaks in a while bc i was so busy so tonight after i finished what i wanted i told the computer to give me marilyn monroe in front of the berlin wall then i told it to swap faces with pure’s and other than some slight adjustments with her teeth holy moly

by the end of the year theres no way its not doing video.

amazing.

the episode is up on youtube.

dude was great. he’s a freemason.