i was all, do you realize what youre doing? she just laughed quietly. had this annoying way of asking questions when shes asked questions. i was all youre on question restriction.

she was like whats question restriction?

i said ok see, that was a question. alls you ever ask are questoins. theres a few things you need to start doing if you want me to answer your questions, i said, the first is you gotta stop with the questions, the next is youve gotta make out with me way more, next you either have to get nakeder or put on funnier clothes.

she was all funnier clothes?

i said, again, thats more questions. yes funnier clothes, top hats, monocles, fishing gaters

she said dont you mean gators?

i was like is that a question or is that a statement?

she was all how come you get to ask questions and i dont? isnt that sexism?

i said now youre doubling up on your questions. put on a top hat.

and i gotta say at first it was cute so maybe its my fault but then it wore on me.

so i said, ok, lets do this. its late. and i like this idea of gators. lets double reverse booty call. how about this. we each get two phone calls. i get two you get two. we each can booty call two people, winner is the one who can get someone over here whos willing to put on a gator and a tophat.

do you have these gators of which you speak? she said.

i said youre doing that on purpose. she said what. i said you only ask questions. no tophats are on no gators are on and theres no birthday suits. all there are are questions.

i said now im gonna name that tune double reverse booty call you.

she said whats that? i took a drink. i made a new rule that with every question she asked i was gonna drink. i was all i can get someone to come over here and wear the gators and make out with me in One phone call.

she was all, make that booty call.

then i remembered that i had lost my iphone and hadnt memorize her number so i lost. thus the gators and the tophat during this blogpost. sorry america.