best part about Halloween

is I can wear my FBI clothes and pretend that I’m a reluctant undercover FBI agent. i’ve got my black FBI undershirt with the seal, a radio with an ear piece, sunglasses, and a black hat that says FBI. i like costumes where you dont have to explain to people who you are.

someone flowed me the latest Thor Garcia novel and i’m a really slow reader but i’m totally savoring this book. i blazed through 75 pages of Ham on Rye and I had to put it down because Tund had not only arrived, it had arrived. Tund is a masterwork and i’m not exaggerating. it sits on your lap and it snickers at you as you read along. it repeats itself because it knows what needs to be repeated. it takes its time, it works it out, it swaggers down the street and looks people in the eye because it knows better, it understands. it gets it. fuck. im always amazed at what Senior Garcia can do with the thesaurus and it’s always funny as hell.

hard to believe that the best american novels this year can only be found in Australia and the Czech Republic, but life is funny like that. not funny ha-ha. well, sorta funny ha-ha. i had a better ending to today’s story about the goth chick but what can you do.

usually the end of October depresses me, but even MJ coming back rusty and not perfect couldnt get me down. im a lucky boy. this old lady said good morning to me. this other old lady was singing at the bus stop. it rained yesterday and washed out a lot of the crap and you can really tell today. even gorgeous cities like Hollywood need a little wash down every 180 days or so and yesterday we got ours.

im giving blood today after lunch.

169,000 hits this month. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks matt, ken, ashley, emmanuelle, greg, amy,, thanks,,,,, dumbmonkey,, boingboing,, and everyone else that helped out on the hits. it’s much appreciated. seriously.


welcome back, mj.

i cant tell you what i did last night cuz im sorta ashamed.

all i can say is Gibby from the Butthole Surfers was there and this kid named Ditch from mass.

and Christina Aguelera was doing shots like it aint no thing.

and i swear i havent done acid in more than a decade.

Henry Winkler was born today. Heeeeeey!

P.S. to all the kids who wrote to ashley saying things like Tony = Bad, you don’t know how right you are. but dont get cocky.

much thanks

to Amy who sent me one of my favorite books ever off my wishlist. i hardly ever read books anymore but i will re-read this book and provide a nice book report soon. Literary Kicks has a couple of chapters typed out for you.

Also let me thank JT, MR, E, JC, BB, and JM who chosen to give me at least a buck for a car. Muchas gracias! We’re up to $204, babies!

My man from PeopleSupport drove up in a brand new Mustang convertible and it was so strange because it’s exactly the one in the picture. Turns out he has all this access to glass tobacco pipes. If you think that you’d be interested in seeing some of these crrrrazy pipes, email me. Some may even wind up for sale.

It’s almost Christmas. Nobody wants sweaters.

only got three hours sleep

on wednesday night, so i was planning on getting a bunch of sleep last night when my buddy Chris called me on my secret phoneline to tell me that the guy that details his car totally gave him some primo laker tickets. since im only about 6 subway stops away from Staples, i said hell yeah. it’s really interesting how relaxing a preseason basketball game is. maybe it was the good company. we’re really good friends after all these years, even if we only talk to each other every now and then. maybe it’s cuz we both live such simple, quiet lives.

lots of fake boobs in the good seats and lots of people with the fake boobs who cover them up and walk fast up the aisles when it becomes obvious that hundreds of spectators are checking out the silicone. ive never understood this. you spend thousands, you wear low-cut clothes, your things are well beyond double-d, you’re sitting practically courtside – why are you suddenly embarrased because guys named Tony are looking at you as opposed to guys named Kobe?

best sign at Staples was on the cool bar right next to the beer taps: 24 oz Corona $10. it looked like someones kid printed it out from a bubble printer. i wondered if the sign was an advertisment, an apology or a warning. i considered it a disappointment. i consider that business gouging. i know we’re all cash money millionaires enjoying the pimplife, but let’s try to not be so tacky. the price on the tickets that we held said $78. parking was $15, needless to say the few kids that i saw in our section – surprise – were all on their cell phones. one kid had a Troy Aikmen jersey. life is nuts.

that really is Seal courtside next to the laker girls.

i got to sleep around 3am last night, if you’re scoring at home. and if you are, congratulations.

my pics from the wedding | home

finally got my pictures back from my floppy disks

it was a killer wedding that ken and laura threw in baja, mexico. totally beautiful, tons of friends, great food, good tunes, good times, great dancing. charlie definately won the best dancer award with brendon a close second.

greg took some amazing pictures (like the one on the right), as did kens’ sister ronda as did the fabulous emmanuelle, whos website is only looking better each day. And wait, Ben and Marketa posted pics too!

after going to all these weddings, i say everyone oughtta get hitched soon. and when you do, head on over to baja and get it done right there on the edge of the world, invite all the kids, eat some lobster, and boogie.

tune in tomorrow when you will see what happened the next day, when Chris and i decided to journey even further south, to the magical and curious lands of Ensenada, birthplace of the fish taco and and drugstores that will sell you anything, pretty much, even without a prescription!

Meanwhile we should all ponder why i chose to only get three hours sleep each night that i hafta work. i got plenty of sleep when i was not expected in the office. maybe it had to do with the fact that i chose to answer the phone at four a.m. if i dont answer it at 4 pm. why would i do it at 4 am? cuz im dumb. if theres one thing you should take to your heart about me it’s that: dumb as a can of paint. thats me. second place at kissin contests and iq of two. hi.

heres a photo essay of the ceremony

im glad to be back at work,

im glad to be out and about. of course my alarm wasnt set so i woke up late, got to work late, what can you do.

my boss asked me who im gonna be rooting for in the world series, i dont think i could ever see myself rooting for the Yankees. it’s nice that New York is in the spotlight for the series but i hope they get swept. its a bummer that mark grace wont be able to play much in the series but i hope he gets a world series ring, he totally deserves it. if a guy like him isnt going to be re-signed by the Cubs in his last years, i hope he gets his ring, he was a loyal Cub and only deserves the best.

me and ashley got into a fight last night. i hate fighting. shes in love with her ex and we should all wish her well cuz she only deserves the best.

tonight i will go work out at the gym like a yuppie, i hope to graduate from curling the 15 pound dumbbells to the 20 pounders.

for the record, no matter what i say about mexico in the upcoming week, i get terrified when i leave the safety of the united states of america. ask chris, who was my copilot during the whole mexican adventure. mr. calm is not so when he cannot dazzle them with bs when they dont speak english. yes you can smile at the mamacitas but when army guys with machine guns at checkpoints and coppers driving B-210s are at every turn, it can frazzle this man of steel.

never have i yearned to be in San Diego so much as when we were lost in Tecate. but you should know that there is no one better to be lost south of the border with than Chris.

ken’s sister took tons of pictures of her trip to Baja, including pics of the wedding, the reception, and the allstar jam/dance party that followed. home | email

hi kids! here it is 10pm on tuesday night

and i am squeezing the last few minutes of my birthday extended weekend vacation out to the very last drop. i guess that means that i wont truly be updating my main page.

life will go on, trust me.

to the left is an overhead shot of the sweet grassy area where ken and laura got hitched. we’re actually on a little cliff that overlooks the pacific in baja, mexico. it was one of the most beautiful settings i have ever seen for a wedding. this year i have seen some fucking gorgeous weddings. don and jen got married at the presido in frisco, amy and video guy and sandy all got hitched in santa barbara. and now this. i have the greatest friends and when they get married, it seems that they all know how to do it.

i’ll get more into later, but it was very cool. me and the ex- stayed at this golf resort about 20 minutes south of rosarito. though it would have been better to be partying with all of our friends, we made due with the nearly abandoned resort. i have learned to cope with my lot in life, which is to apparently be surrounded by the best people ever. as chris and i drove along the breathtaking views along the highway on sunday i asked her, “do you know how lucky we are, do you know how much God has blessed us?” and she said, “you’re not kidding.”

we ate fish tacos at a stand, we bought a lot of crap, we crossed the border, drove home while listening to Lovelines, watched Drew’s “Riding in Cars With Boys” on my birthday (Monday), ate at M & M’s and Zancau Chicken. we saw movie stars. and then she dropped me off and a few hours later i got to see rock stars – Tsar in Silverlake. way too much good stuff. im overwhelmed. im very grateful.

thanks to everyone who sent me cards, emails, nice thoughts. all your positivity has made this birthday go down smooth, which isnt easy. and i got an email from a girl that i had a crush on when i was a sophomore in high school. will it never end?!

i like all sorts

who doesn’t? the question always is, however: but, for how long?

i also like the TV show, “Survivor.” i’d have to say that next to the Simpsons, it’s my favorite show. with that said, i am always bummed out when they get start to get rid of the hot chicks in the show. therefore, how couldnt i be upset when they voted off the 28 yr old Puerto Rican Libra?

yes, jessie is a cop, and she wasnt drinking the water, and she got sick easy, and she hadnt contributed, but she was good to look at and she was Clarence’s only friend, which was nice. and everyone knows that Libras need a little time to adjust to new surroundings. but i really think that it woulda been nice to see a tv show not all full of white people starving and fighting and dying in the desert. it woulda been nice to see some minorities suffer a little too.

i dont get enough of that in real life.

and i must say, making them drink Blood in episode two is mighty badass.

i know lots of people will probably complain, but drinking blood straight from the cow is apparently what the crazy african tribe in that area does, and they looked cool with their dyed red hair, and that cow looked more healthy than a lot of the steroid-pumped ones that i see in central california.

but to make them drink it with the milk of the cow is so unkosher and damnnear close to Satanic. yes, Satanic. that it made for amazing tv – especially when they made people stick out their blood-soaked tounges.

Bravo, CBS. The Tiffany network twinkles ever more.

Ken Shall Wed Laura! | 22 Filmore | home | email

sonny’s gonna housesit

while i hit the road and find myself. jim rome goes into the basement to recharge, i go to mexico. i love america a hundred per cent and the best part of southern california is baja california, which, if we were smart, we’d trade for kansas and nebraska since the mexicans want to come here so bad, and we want to go there so much.

but life isnt fair.

it’s cool.

check back on the blog from time-to-time, cuz if there is a magical mexican connection, or someone with a wireless computer, i will write to you, but dont count on it. and hopefully sonny will tape all those cool benefit shows that will be going down, and he’ll take the mail outta the mailbox, but i doubt it. i know he’ll read the papers, which woulda piled up without him, but im sure he’ll leave a mess, so im not even gonna clean up before i leave. isnt that rude of me? yeah, whatever.

little known fact: not many rentacar places want their cars being driven south of the border.

ok, my birthday is monday: send your cards and letters to:, and if you wanna stoke a brotha, buy me a car, or, if you must, something from my wishlist, but your readership is plenty, trust me.

and if you’re one of the 700 french people who came here yesterday off of the article that Emmanuelle wrote: hola!

22 Filmore | home | email