totally disrupted my morning routine. thus are the modern tragedies of my-so-called-life.

there used to be a time when i would have to be at work super early so i never saw my maid. but life is better now and i can get into the office at a reasonable hour. problem is, my maid, i believe, is used to being places at the buttcrack of dawn.

anyways its terribly embarrassing for me because when i know shes coming i just let everything go to hell. which believe it or not is different than my normal lifestyle, which to outsiders may look quite similar to a man allowing his apartment to go to hell. but its not so.

i was brushing my teeth when i heard a knock on the door. it was the back door, which is never good. either it means a young lady has come to retrieve her jewels, or it means the maintenance man needs to turn off the water to the building, or it means a homeless man wants money, or it means a small time theif is casing the joint.

or it means the lovely maid caught a fast bus because its veterans day and didnt hit any traffic at all and has arrived before the man of the house has had time to “prepare” for the cleaner.

theres a whole system with my laundry, for example. clothes that may appear dirty, and have even made their way to the floor, are quite clean, and could use some folding and placement in a drawer. those clothes need to be put in a basket marked clean so she can fold and place.

meanwhile there are some unmentionables and unsee-ables that need to be hidden or tucked away or stashed, if you will. i dont pretend that she doesnt know ever hiding place and every secret i have, but i dont want to have those things right in her face, forcing her to make a decision.

the good thing about the early arrival was she told me that she would cook for me. often she makes little meals and places them on a plate with saran wrap over them. then she sits the plate in front of the microwave.

i was able to tell her that often i dont come home for days, that i appreciate her cooking, but she should put it in the fridge so i can enjoy it. sometimes when the delicious treat is fish or chicken my nutritionist advises me to throw the home made meal out. which breaks my heart.

yes my life is so difficult that i dont see how i make it through even one day without heavy medication.