unlike most people,

it took me more than two years to finish junior college

i was all set to go to uc santa barbara. all i had to do was get a B- in history.

i got a C+.

i had already given my notice at work, and with my landlord. i was ready to move from LA to IV.

so i went to the teacher and i explained and she said, im sorry but i cannot give you a B-, you can barely write an essay.

you will get eaten up at a UC.

i was stunned. there i had thought i was this hotshot writer and i was being given a pity c+.

i walked out of her office and in a daze walked to the library. like i was being pulled there.

my life was shattered. i was pretty sure i was going to cry.

i just moped around the stacks, shocked, and i found myself in front of the jd salinger section

my boy.

and i picked up Nine Stories and i sat down and read A Perfect Day For Bananafish.

and i was soothed.

and when it sunk in that he had died today, i nearly cried again.

but i held it back.

like a phony.