i almost died last night america

took my truest to kanpai, the best sushi place in LA. had a few drinks, ate our fish, stared into each others eyes and said sweet nothings.

at the sushi bar i saw a black man in a suit and overheard him not being all that happy with his food. i thought to myself, hes ordered the wrong things. so as he was settling up his check i told him that i was gonna order three pieces of my favorite dish there, this mysterious fish called Sawara. i dont know what it is in the sauce that kanpai puts on top of it, but its amazing, and blah blah.

hours later we’re still talking and truest and visiting guy were downing shots of sake. they plowed through 4-5 bottles and we all had the weirdest, deepest conversations.

because i knew i was driving all i drank after the first round was cokes.

which came in handy because on the drive home, truest was driz-zunk, and this semi truck hit his breaks on the 10 freeway two cars in front of us. making all of us slam on our breaks.

my brakes were not as good as everyone elses, and we slid a good 200 yards forward. and almost crashed into the car ahead of us.

ive never been in an accident but all i could see in slow motion was us rear ending the car in front of us, but the Lord protected us and nothing happened: no crash, no nothing. just me braking and honking simultaneously.

while saying to my truest: prepare for impact.

when we got him it was i who wanted to drink.

instead i said my prayers and thanked God i hadnt been drinking.

so buckle up kids. and use designated drivers, cuz you cannot predict the unpredictable.