i dont think youre ready, for this jelly

beyonce called me and i said, where do all of you girls get my number?

she was upset because the photos had come out and they revealed a much larger singer of the girl group.

“no one will ever love me,” she cried.

true, beyonce, but they’ll love your money.

“but i dont want them to love me for my money!”

sorry, baby, im probably the only man who will love you for who you are.

“even if im not a skinny girl any more?”

beyonce, it’s just a matter of time until any of our bodies start changing. yours just came today. it’s cool. i still love you.

“be my boyfriend.”



shhhh shhhh shhhh. i thought you wanted to be an independent woman?

“i do. on your living room floor.”

its messy there.

“after your maid comes.”

now, thats kinky.

“what is?”

ok, gotta go beyonce. cant wait for the solo record.

“but, wait. did a. beam get it right? are you really going to stop the busblog?”

yes. july 7.

“noooooo. why?”

all blogs should end after a year. its the only way to keep things fresh.

“but your blog is constantly fresh.”

but nobody cares.

“EVERYONE CARES. didnt you get like three million hits last month?”

yes, but i cheated. i put nudity on my site. thats not love.

“so like if like 100 sites that dont link you now, if they link you, will you keep the blog?”


“say yes.”

ok, yes.