ter> there’s the best player in basketball
my heart is warmed by all the people and all the sites that have linked me and want to link me.
i hate to do this, but i must now be a little more specific than i was when i last chatted with destiny’s child.
when she and i meant “link” we meant a permanent link on the left- or right-hand side of your blog.
speaking of rabbit, she and i had a very pleasant interview last night after sonny left and we penciled in a follow-up tonight, so perhaps next week you can see what happens when two heavyweights of blogging chat with each other.
it will be a much different conversation than what dawn and a.beam and weiss and matt moore had last night, but i got mentioned so all’s good. although it seems like moore wanted to start a little tiff with me.
perhaps he should continue to stroke his poll(s).
but you, know, he did link me last week so i’ll give him a pass. sarcasm is hard to pick up in print.
and besides, i know who a.beam is, and he doesnt.
anyway, i thank you unablogger for getting the troops together. nothing like a site of half naked chicks, scratch that, totally naked chicks, to get people to do things. and thanks to Ye Olde Blog, damn you get a bunch of hits, girl.
always seems to know when my house is clean, or i have a nice new bottle of rum, or beer in the fridge, or something worthwhile over at the house that he can put his dirty paws on.
last night he came over for the game.
i was on the computer, trying to ignore him. no such luck.
he found my diary. my real one. he was flipping through it.
“your handwriting is horrible.”
i do that so that creeps like you will get frustrated and quit reading.
“fuck, man, you were getting That chick?”
i was being used. it’s not what it looks like.
“how on Earth are you doing this?”
cycles. sometimes youre up sometimes youre down. it has zero to do with me, trust me. zero.
“so when is my cycle going to come?”
well, you, sonny, have bad karma, your time might not ever come.
he kept reading. we ignored the game. around the fourth quarter he turned on howard stern, but crawled into a little ball like a chick and read more of my diary. it was the most that ive ever seen him read at one sitting.
when the game was over he flipped around the stations and eventually finished my diary.
“so let me get this straight. there are three girls youre chasing now. one girl is crazy about you and will do anything for you. the other is on the fence, she wants to be your girl but only if you settle down with her. and the other isnt at all interested in you.”
first of all, im not chasing anyone. so maybe you should read that shit again.
“i say you go for the girl who loves you.”
listen to me, im not going for anyone. it’s called dating. you should try it. you get to meet people. meeting people is nice sometimes.
“but instead of going for the one who loves you, you’re blowing her off. and it sounds like youre blowing off the fence-chick too, who, by the way is hotter than all three of them.”
okay, you drank all the beer. fucker. youre drunk. one girl cant be hotter than all three of them if shes one of the three! and i told you not to put your butts in the bottles, that shit is sick.
“then find your one stupid ashtray!”
i think you should go home now.
“but the psycho thing is, you’re fully going for the one chick who isnt even slightly into you.”
what are you even reading?
“this chick barely even knows you exist and you write about her like crazy. you should get your head examined.”
leave my house. go bother someone else. leave.
“i agree with ashley, i think you’re gay.”
exunt. be gone with you. adios.
“and get some ashtrays, asswipe.”
whats this i hear you want to stop this thing we have going?
yeah, i think blogs should end after a year.
thats the dumbest thing i ever heard.
well, youre biased, now arent you.
dont you love me?
very much so. more and more every day.
are you going to leave me for another blog?
no, i dont think so, im extremely loyal.
but youre such a great writer.
no, dude, im serious, while youre saving the world, all the other blogs tell me how great it must be to be your blog.
if you dont shut up i’m going to delete you.
you dont have the guts to delete me.
that might be, but i can be pretty spontaneous. i’ll delete you and regret it later, but you’ll be gone never the less.
please dont say things like that.
why are you such an idiot?
well, you will have to keep me going, 25 blogs have already linked us.
twenty-six as of today, but we’ll never make it to 100 by july 9.
you never know. i know a lot of blogs. they want to save this good thing we’ve got.
dont you want to quit on top?
who says we’re on top?
well, youre not even in the top ten in hits.
so what makes you think we’re on top?
yeah, but you’re insane. you know, nobody thinks like you do. have you realized that yet?
you’re boring me now, im going to go.
one more thing, why arent you dating chicks your own age?
you know what i mean.
i do. they just dont like me so much.
why dont you date karisa?
we’re just friends.
that chick’s hot, are you gay?
no, and shes the wrong sign, anyway.
okay, you are gay.
dont say things like that, it’s rude.
okay, youre the stupidest person i ever met. i wish you never created me.
now you see why i dont ever talk to you in public.
i hope you get a paper cut today.
i love you too.
by the way the first real blog entry was in august. im not truly one years old until then.
reynolds will never permalink you.
i dont blame him, youre not even very entertaining.