i guess i should have said by 23.

“did Sammy Davis Jr. “conk” his hair his whole life? Has he gotten shit for this? I ask cuz I’m reading malcom x’s autobiography and I just read the part where he goes off about what sellouts blacks that conked their hair were.

well, keith, Frank may have sung it, but Sammy lived it. if there was one person who did it his way, it was the little Black one eyed nappy haired jew who had a penchant for tall scandanavian blondes in an era when mixed-marriages were illegal in more than half of the states here in America.

sammy alluded to the fact that he lost his left eye possibly due to racism when driving from Vegas to Hollywood in a cadillac that was just given to him by the owner of the Sands. sammy was dating a nice young blonde girl and was driving to LA to buy a house in the ultra-white hollywood hills. all of this was just too much for some, and as he was driving suddenly he saw a car completely stopped on the highway just in front of him for no reason at all. sammy swerved to avoid the mysterious car and hit his head on the decorative cone in the center of his steering wheel and lost his eye.

things simmered when he took the advice of his friends and immediately married his first wife, a pretty black chorus girl on the strip who he barely knew.

the marriage didnt last long, and soon he was seen with the whitest women he could find.

and in 1960 right after his friend JFK won the presidency, due in part to sammy’s getting out the Black vote for kennedy, he married may brit despite the fact that 31 states still considered such a practice illegal and immoral.

when JFK retracted SDJ’s invite to his inaugural ball because of his sammy’s controversial marriage, the candy man’s feelings were hurt so much that years later when Richard Nixon called on Sammy to help with his coolness quotient, sammy– to the utter disbelief of the african-american community– accepted the invitation and became friendly with the republican.

sammy also did lots of cocaine which caused a huge rift between he and old Blue Eyes that lasted years, he also didnt pay his taxes that caused him serious financial injury with Uncle Sam, and he dabbled in satanism which drew ire from The Man Upstairs.

sammy answered only to sammy.

so, to answer your question, yes, keith, sammy did sport a ‘fro for a short period of time. when i find the pictures i will post them.

but he didnt wear his hair a certain way to bow to popular convention or to appease a certain racial group, he did it because either he wanted it, or because he thought it could score him more chicks. to hell with malcom x or being called a sellout.

sammy was a tap dancing black jew who hung with tricky dick.

“sellout” only begins the list of slurs that other blacks would hurl at him and he didnt give a damn.

and now you’ve heard the best of the story.

p.s. his relationship with nixon earned him the interesting opportunity to be the first Black to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom. he took it.

he would have been 36 today.

made a big mistake at the baja fresh this afternoon, ordered the Totally Baja Burrito or some shit and i never order burritos there cuz for $6 a burrito should blow you. the correct price for a good burrito is between $2.50 and $4.50.

but i was starving, and ive been eating their taquitos with a side of beans and that hasnt been filling me up, so i went for it and said “no onions” they said, but it comes in the pico gigante sauce so i said fine. not knowing that pico gigante means hunks of tomatoes and onions and cilantro.

so now my fingers smell of baja which is a smell you cannot cleanse yourself of even after several scrubbings.

lately ive discovered that my olfactory glands are working better than ever. i used to think that one sense only gets stronger if another sense starts to fade.

so maybe i can smell things better because my memory is so wacked.

or cuz my hair is thinning like mad.

anyway i was over at this young lady’s house the other day and it was weird how the smells of her country home totally brought back old memories and made me trust her in a powerful and odd way.

it made me want to wear cologne, but then if i did i wouldnt be able to smell the rest of the world cuz i would have this barrier of eau between me and it.

baja fresh recently switched from Coke to Pepsi to increase their profit margin, then they sold out to Wendys.

dear Wendy’s please switch back over to Coke.

gracias,

antonio

hley warned in the wee hours last night as she discoverd that i was going to do a little photo essay on the other twenty year old princess, britney spears.

me, predictable?

“sure, first anna, now britney. i just dont want people to think that you’re not cool.”

but im not cool.

“oh, youre very cool.”

even after seeing britney like a dillweed?

“yes. you’ll make it a cool thing.”

so why are you worried?

“i dont know, just am. you know how you can make your thing a hundred times cooler?”

start writing about how Bush Knew about 9/11 and didnt do shit?

“uh, no. have more pictures of me on there.”

what about more indepth laker coverage?

“no, more me.”

what about telling the kids that Tsar is going to be playing tonight at the Dragonfly with the Bad Apples?

“that’s ok, but more me will make it way better.”

what about shining on anna, and dedicating my blog to the Williams Sisters who are now number one and two in the world?

“ok, nerd, that would be dumb.”

War Emblem is about to win the triple crown.

“what does that have to do with me?”

ok, i’ll have more pictures of you.

“DO YOU MEAN IT?”

yes. i just made one last night.

“ahhhh! really? which one did you use?”

the one of you trying to look like Tinkerbell.

“AAAAHHHH. ok, tell me when you use it.”

ok, will do.