kitty bukkake’s already pouting,

and i expect such things in life.

it’s tough having favorites, and i am not afraid to tell people where they stand.

but her complaint was the spark to a brilliant idea that i just had.

i was a terrific editor in college, ask anyone. i think i was a far better editor than writer. even though i was unfairly fired and then banned from the paper that gave birth to a lot fo the great writers and editors that you read and love, i learned a lot there.

and my list, kitty, was simply a representation to the hard-nose super high commitment to excellence that i learned under the shadow of that mighty tower in santa barbara.

there’s many reasons why i came up with those ladies as who i’d pick to fill seven spots if i was guest editor of, and one reason that I did not pick Kitty is because she holds back on her readers.

it’s true.

i mean, her pen name is Kitty Bukkake, for pete sake, and how much blushingly erotic sexiness do you read on her page?

not much, is right.

now, i dont know ms. kb all that well, but i know her enough to be able to honestly say that she has some stories to tell — as we all do, im sure — and i know shes in a committed relationship with an excellent midwestern man who deserves his private life to remain just that, but come on dear girl there is a geyser of stories inside that thin frame busting to come out and i have not seen but a glimpse of it on your “diary” and before i would be confident to release you upon the good people of, i would have to see that you could tell a sexy tale on your own page.

but i realize that some of you arent into that, so i have devised a master plan that im sure you will all love to participate in.

my blog is about to self destruct, and before that happens, i would like to host some stories of people that i know and love.

i would LOVE to have some guest columnists on here.


and of course i feel bad for writing things like what my good pal jeff said about how the only good women writers were either crazy or crazy.

so this is what i would like to do: all the ladies who know me or who dont know me, if you would like to see your column posted on this very page, i would love to have it.

all you have to do is send it in to my home email address:, and you can either post using your real name and i will include a link to your site,(if you have the courage), or you can post using a pen name (if you want to write something, let’s say, risquee) and i wont link your site.

either way my illiterate readers will be educated into the sweet world of your world via this blog.

what could be finer?

the invite is open to women who want to write something that they wouldnt dare write on their site, for women who want to write to my very diverse readership, and/or to women who want to write something who don’t have a blog to write on.

i can guarantee you a good sized audience and the opportunity to receive sweet praise.

and maybe if this is a smashing success, i will let the fellas have a chance,

but since i was raised right, ladies first.

anna’s not talking to me

it’s nothing new.

she says she wants to be my friend. then she’ll lick my neck when i kiss her cheek goodnight.

she says she wants to hang out with me, then she flies off to wherever she goes without even an adios.

some people would get upset about these sorts of things, but not me, which is why, i suppose that we’ve been able to have such a good relationship for all this time.

tonight chris’s sister is in town from oregon so we’re going to take her to a fancy LA restaurant and then get some yucks at the Comedy Store on sunset cuz they dont have those sorts of things in the woods Up North.

im very happy to live in LA.

but i think i would be able to live quite nicely there in central oregon.

no one would bother me except the klan and the wild turkeys and the deer.

i would smoke my pipe in the morning, write, wrestle up some grub, brush my teeth, eat, fish, come back and take a nap, fish, and write some more.

yes, i know, hemingway tried to live that sort of life after living in some cool cities and it made him blow his brains out, they say. but i dont think so.

i think he blew his brains out because he wasnt surrounded by awesome friends.

im very much enjoying this Laker parade as it winds its way through downtown.

two quick comments: Kobe’s krazy wife is a friggin knockout. i never knew really why he married her, but now i do. damn, bro.

the other news that somehow slipped this site is that long time Laker AC Green who was a vocal virgin was married two months ago, he reports.

AC holds the NBA record for consecutive games played (1,192 straight games), but really the 39 year streak of no nookie… is that something to be proud of? maybe.

i dont think so, though.

the easiest thing to say in the world is no.

but still, im happy that now AC gets to make up for some lost time.

maybe he can make a new video now.

today is flag day

happy flag day, flag.

it’s okay in my book to celebrate such a day especially when our nation’s flag is the coolest of all and our state flag is pretty awesome as well.

somehow this week i forgot to tell you about our pal Ben getting a column published in, which makes me think that FoxNews should just hire me to pick the columnists that will make their pages mightier.

one thing i learned in my teens selling stereos and tvs on commision is you want people to buy more than just one item. same should go with having people click on more than one link on your news site.

so if youre going to present to the world Ben Sullivan, you really should run a column from his sister Kate.

if youre going to run Layne, run Welch too.

or if you’re going to give the world Welch, let them discover his talented wife Emmanuelle as well.

post a point-counterpoint from two law professors, like Reynolds and Volokh.

on the old days at Wrigley they used to have Ladies Day on Wednesday, i wouldnt mind seeing Rabbit, Sara, Virginia, Seipp, Amy, Solent, and Dawn take over a column for a week.

ok, now i have to go back to my tv to watch the parade.

i hope Shaq freestyles again.

theres gonna be a big parade here in LA

for your back-to-back-to-back world champeen los angeles lakers.

last night i got invited to see the space station fly across the friendly skies, of all things. and no one else wanted to do anything with me last night, so i said, y not.

Heres what our instructions were:

The International Space Station with the Space Shuttle Endeavour

docked to it will pass directly over Los Angeles tonight.

They will look like one bright slowly-moving star, and this is a good

chance to see them.

Face the northwest at 9:45 p.m. on Thursday the 13th, and look just above the horizon for what will look like a slowly moving airplane, but without flashing running lights, appearing as bright as the brightest stars (magnitude -0.8). It gains altitude, and a minute later passes to the left of the Big Dipper, just missing the bowl. It is directly overhead at 9:47 p.m. It continues on, passing left of the bright star Arcturus, and then fades out just before 9:48 p.m., still high in the southeast, when it moves into the earth’s shadow.

got picked up, drove up vermont to griffith park, expected a lot of people and traffic and space station viewers but we may have been the only ones there for that.

the griffith park observatory might be closed for a few years for renovations, but the stars and the incredible view of the city needs no improvements, it was beautiful and very clear.

unfortunately neither of us had a watch so now and then we thought we saw the space station but it was just a plane.

then, we spotted it, and it wasnt as bright as the north star, which was super bright last night, but it was bright and it was at the horizon and three minutes later it was directly above our heads so let me tell you, that thing was booking and thats something i dont understand.

how can something that is way up in space speed across the sky faster than a plane going from the valley to LAX?

see what happens when you write poems during science class?