do you know how many Jewish friends i have?

so many.

i have so many its funny. my first super close jewish friend was Alan Grand.

all the kids at school teased him, they called him Jew Lock for some reason. dumb nickname.

i just called him Alan.

we hung out a lot throwing a rubber ball at stairs. we made up a whole game around it. before electricity thats what you had to do for fun.

three doors down from him was another Jewish kid our age named Nelson.

the two families couldnt have been more different, so when kids at school were all, omg Jews are this or Jews are that id say do you know Alan? theyd say yeah, id say do you know Nelson, theyd say yeah. id say what do they have in common?

and they couldnt come up with anything.

and i said they live on the same block. and they get ridiculed by imbeciles like you. now go get lost before i throw a rubber ball at you.

then alan and i would smash lego cars against walls to see which car was tougher.

ah simpler times.

Chappy Chanuka people!