i guess i should have said by 23.

“did Sammy Davis Jr. “conk” his hair his whole life? Has he gotten shit for this? I ask cuz I’m reading malcom x’s autobiography and I just read the part where he goes off about what sellouts blacks that conked their hair were.

well, keith, Frank may have sung it, but Sammy lived it. if there was one person who did it his way, it was the little Black one eyed nappy haired jew who had a penchant for tall scandanavian blondes in an era when mixed-marriages were illegal in more than half of the states here in America.

sammy alluded to the fact that he lost his left eye possibly due to racism when driving from Vegas to Hollywood in a cadillac that was just given to him by the owner of the Sands. sammy was dating a nice young blonde girl and was driving to LA to buy a house in the ultra-white hollywood hills. all of this was just too much for some, and as he was driving suddenly he saw a car completely stopped on the highway just in front of him for no reason at all. sammy swerved to avoid the mysterious car and hit his head on the decorative cone in the center of his steering wheel and lost his eye.

things simmered when he took the advice of his friends and immediately married his first wife, a pretty black chorus girl on the strip who he barely knew.

the marriage didnt last long, and soon he was seen with the whitest women he could find.

and in 1960 right after his friend JFK won the presidency, due in part to sammy’s getting out the Black vote for kennedy, he married may brit despite the fact that 31 states still considered such a practice illegal and immoral.

when JFK retracted SDJ’s invite to his inaugural ball because of his sammy’s controversial marriage, the candy man’s feelings were hurt so much that years later when Richard Nixon called on Sammy to help with his coolness quotient, sammy– to the utter disbelief of the african-american community– accepted the invitation and became friendly with the republican.

sammy also did lots of cocaine which caused a huge rift between he and old Blue Eyes that lasted years, he also didnt pay his taxes that caused him serious financial injury with Uncle Sam, and he dabbled in satanism which drew ire from The Man Upstairs.

sammy answered only to sammy.

so, to answer your question, yes, keith, sammy did sport a ‘fro for a short period of time. when i find the pictures i will post them.

but he didnt wear his hair a certain way to bow to popular convention or to appease a certain racial group, he did it because either he wanted it, or because he thought it could score him more chicks. to hell with malcom x or being called a sellout.

sammy was a tap dancing black jew who hung with tricky dick.

“sellout” only begins the list of slurs that other blacks would hurl at him and he didnt give a damn.

and now you’ve heard the best of the story.

p.s. his relationship with nixon earned him the interesting opportunity to be the first Black to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom. he took it.

he would have been 36 today.

made a big mistake at the baja fresh this afternoon, ordered the Totally Baja Burrito or some shit and i never order burritos there cuz for $6 a burrito should blow you. the correct price for a good burrito is between $2.50 and $4.50.

but i was starving, and ive been eating their taquitos with a side of beans and that hasnt been filling me up, so i went for it and said “no onions” they said, but it comes in the pico gigante sauce so i said fine. not knowing that pico gigante means hunks of tomatoes and onions and cilantro.

so now my fingers smell of baja which is a smell you cannot cleanse yourself of even after several scrubbings.

lately ive discovered that my olfactory glands are working better than ever. i used to think that one sense only gets stronger if another sense starts to fade.

so maybe i can smell things better because my memory is so wacked.

or cuz my hair is thinning like mad.

anyway i was over at this young lady’s house the other day and it was weird how the smells of her country home totally brought back old memories and made me trust her in a powerful and odd way.

it made me want to wear cologne, but then if i did i wouldnt be able to smell the rest of the world cuz i would have this barrier of eau between me and it.

baja fresh recently switched from Coke to Pepsi to increase their profit margin, then they sold out to Wendys.

dear Wendy’s please switch back over to Coke.

gracias,

antonio

hley warned in the wee hours last night as she discoverd that i was going to do a little photo essay on the other twenty year old princess, britney spears.

me, predictable?

“sure, first anna, now britney. i just dont want people to think that you’re not cool.”

but im not cool.

“oh, youre very cool.”

even after seeing britney like a dillweed?

“yes. you’ll make it a cool thing.”

so why are you worried?

“i dont know, just am. you know how you can make your thing a hundred times cooler?”

start writing about how Bush Knew about 9/11 and didnt do shit?

“uh, no. have more pictures of me on there.”

what about more indepth laker coverage?

“no, more me.”

what about telling the kids that Tsar is going to be playing tonight at the Dragonfly with the Bad Apples?

“that’s ok, but more me will make it way better.”

what about shining on anna, and dedicating my blog to the Williams Sisters who are now number one and two in the world?

“ok, nerd, that would be dumb.”

War Emblem is about to win the triple crown.

“what does that have to do with me?”

ok, i’ll have more pictures of you.

“DO YOU MEAN IT?”

yes. i just made one last night.

“ahhhh! really? which one did you use?”

the one of you trying to look like Tinkerbell.

“AAAAHHHH. ok, tell me when you use it.”

ok, will do.

that my first favorite nba star was a Net.

that’s right, the good doctor, Julius Erving, only played three seasons with the ABA’s new york nets, but managed to average a double-double or some shit.

but dont ask me, apparently my sports memories are as fuzzy as my ‘fro since i f’ed up on the may 17 cubs/phillies 23-22 game, as pointed out, very politely by baseball news (scroll down to yesterday’s deal.)

all i know is dr. j was a favorite of mine back when jason kidd was just a kid.

lakers in three.

finally summer has come to los angeles, finally i could open up the french doors in the sitting room and let the cool breeze from the veranda ease into the master bedroom.

woke up at sunrise and soaked in the tub listening to the green album, sampling the new flavor of cap’n crunch (chocolate donuts) and read the new playboy.

strolled down to the subway station, rode it to wilshire vermont and the connecting train wasnt there so i walked the stairs up to the surface to see my newly restored escalator and there it was working right, all happy. strangely all the other escalators were stopped. at the bottom of each escalator there is a latch that has a key hole which i assume can only be opened with a key, but the latches from all the stopped escalators were opened– something seems fishy.

if the mta is trying to save money by intentionally stopping escalators, they should find new ways for revenue, because at 8am, many of the people who are using these escalators are not as fit as me, and im 108 years old.

and i could kick your ass.

shaq kicked some ass last night, and it looks like my predicted sweep will come easier than originally stated. the nets looked like a bunch of ugly girls out there. the lakers looked like a bunch of guys who had just climbed mt. everest and were now snowboarding down the other side.

did i see slava medvedenko getting in on the action last night?

yeah, the nets are history.

i guess the real finals were held in sacto last week.

so i take the bus down wilshire and there seems to be a lot of traffic on wilshire this morning and i wondered why all the cars dont go around the traffic by using side streets but then i remember that people are idiots in the morning which is why Rick Dees has been able to be gainfully employed for the last quarter century.

as we approach the offending traffic clogger, we see that its because there is a convoy of dump trucks in the far right lane. the lane that is supposed to be clear during rush hour traffic hours of 7-9 and 4-6. but someone has greased the palm of a city big wig and the dump trucks cause enough troubles that traffic is damn near stopped for a good two miles on the wilshire corridor just east of koreatown.

its a dump truck parade.

its a dump truck convention.

its a bunch of burley mexican guys in their dump trucks with their radios on listening to that ridiculous banda “music” drinking their coffee wondering which cowboy hat theyre going to wear to the taqueria after work.

already picked out which belt buckle.